Pregnant and relationship break down

[Rhiannon1997]

I'm 24 weeks pregnant and completely alone no one to talk to.
I did have a very supportive attentive partner but he's turned to drugs and alcohol and is no longer there me
I'm currently in hospital due to stress and baby not moving so much and my partner hasn't come to see me but instead has gone out with friends.

he just told me he doesn't want me back at his house where I live and he wants me to take all my stuff out. The house is solely his but I have no where else to go

He can’t just throw you out of his house. Speak to a solicitor. He has a duty of care to his child which may mean staying in his house until the child is 18!

Hi I’m so sorry you are in this position. I did not want to just read this without offering support. Please reach out to hospital staff and maybe Women’s Aid. Do you have anyone else you could reach out to? Big hugs 🌹

Also what is the position with your house? Is it shared and how long have you lived together x

what are you on about? he only has to house his child

What an odd thing to say. It's his house. He has no obligation to house op if they are no longer together. He will of course need to support his child through child maintenance. Op I'm sorry you are in this position. I would speak to the council first thing on Monday if you are going to be homeless.

Have you been together long, why has he turned to alcohol and drugs, were you in a good relationship before this happened. I'm sorry you have no one supporting you x

Speak to the duty social worker.
Tell her you are now homeless, s/he can help with getting you in touch with the local authorities housing department.

The house is fully his I moved in about a year ago so have no rights to stay.
he has constant house parties and brings random people back and as you call it has a sesh in the kitchen until the following day.
He won't even allow me to collect my belongings and hasn't once asked about how I'm getting on the hospital

We have been together for just over a year but had a very very close relationship did everything together found out I was pregnant in Jan and it's like he couldn't cope with loosing his party life and started going out every weekend

I'm currently still in hospital, midwife's keep asking me where my partner is and offering to contact him etc but he won't come here they are asking questions about my home life and as silly as it sounds I'm scared to drop him init about the drugs and alcohol within the home setting because I have the fear social services will get involved and cause more issues. He also has two other children he visit him regularly and I would hate to ruin that relationship between them even though it's probably the right thing to do to mention about the drug and alcohol issues

Lived together for nearly a year it's fully his home so have no rights to it but have no where else to go

You need to mention exactly what's going on in order to get the best help for you and your baby.

It's you two in this together now and you need to put your baby first.

I’m sorry this is happening to you. It won’t feel like it now, but trust me, one day you’ll be so glad to now have this loser in yours and your babies life. You deserve better. Please speak to the nurses re having no where to live as they will have procedures for this kind of thing and can point you towards help. The local authority will help you. Look after yourself, and if he asks, do not go back there, it won’t be a safe environment for a baby.

You need to tell the hospital what has happened. It is selfish not to. You have a baby to consider.

how old are you? Why do you have no family?

Hi OP. I’m very sorry to hear that you’re going through this and just wanted to echo others in saying that you must share details of your home life with the midwives and tell them how you’re feeling. Hospital staff see situations like this regularly - you are not alone - and will be able to advise on the best way forward. I also agree that this will in time feel like a very positive change. You must prioritise yourself and your baby and your partner does not sound like a healthy influence. Wishing you all the best.

Yes I know it sounds selfish but like I said in a previous post I'm scared and worried about how it reflects on me meaning I'm scared social will get involved and cause issues because I've never mentioned his habits before. I've believe in him saying it will stop no more everything will change now.
im 28 and I don't have any contact with my family haven't done for years and years

Absolutely and as awful as it is, OP you do not want to go back to his house. Really you don’t.

It is so horrible that you are in this situation. Please tell the midwife the truth. You don’t
want to drop him in it??

OP please only think about yourself and your baby.

You are in hospital and now is your chance to get the social services involved for you and your baby, they are not going to go chasing after that low life, piece of nothingness. This is about you.

I had a social worker come out when I was 6 weeks pregnant and did a pre birth assessment everything was closed after 30 days with no further action (only had this done because I was under the mental health team a year before falling pregnant)
im now worried because I lied and said we both don't drink or do drugs (I obviously don't) I just believed he would change

Your situation is so complex and you are so vulnerable, no professional is going to judge you for lying. You are scared and worried. But OP,
now that you are in hospital amd he has told you not to come back to his house you are really all alone.

Well done for reaching out to MN, please talk to someone. If you are not comfortable talking to the midwife is there not a young doctor around. You are entitled to confidentiality in the hospital,
please talk to someone now.

OP the best thing is to be open to the midwife. Relationships end all the time, and they have seen and heard most things, are are great support. If you have left your relationship then that is great as otherwise you could end up having SS questioning things again. But you can do things solo, you really can. But by all means, whatever you do, do not go back to this relationship, it will never get better, and not worth risking your babys future for. You got this, but be clear with the midwife as they will understand, they have seen it all before and have resources at hand that you may be able to have. Start planning for you and the little one and gather up your worth and courage, you got this.