OLD 35 never had LTR - red flag?

[OLDnerves]

I’ve recently started online dating.

I’ve started talking to a couple men but have not met up with anyone yet, although planning to meet up with one of them next week.

Do you think this is a red flag/weird - if someone said they are 35 and never had a long term relationship or a proper relationship??

I know a couple of men like this. It’s been shyness and anxiety that have held them back from being vulnerable and putting themselves out there. Both good, decent people with a lot of offer a partner, but they probably would need someone kind and understanding of their lack of romantic experience.

On the other hand if a man has been shagging his way through life, but not forming deeper or more bonded relationships, then I’d be wary.

It is unusual, obviously.
But to be fair, I think you'd have to get to know them to work out why before you totally write them off. Were they very involved in a demanding career, or looking after a family member, e.g
It would be useful to hear what they say about it, and of course to observe how they handle conflict, intimacy, and compromise with you—that will tell you everything you need to know.

I would say it was unusual but not a red flag. They just haven't met the right person yet.

Not an immediate red flag on a personal level. However, at 35 I don’t think I’d have the patience to be someone’s first proper relationship and all that it entails. I’d want someone who has experience and understands themselves within a relationship dynamic.

No, I think it’s become normal tbh, COVID etc, it’s hard to meet people, just meet up and see how it goes.

Not necessarily.

I haven’t particularly liked anyone for over a decade. Barr the occasional passing crush. I can see why people struggle. And then if you like them there’s no guarantee they’ll like you. Or that you’ll have time for a relationship. Or you won’t get into it and find actually you don’t want to be in it. Or that you’ll be compatible.

Plus you pretty much have to online date to meet people these days. And some people hate doing that. And it’s shit, obviously.

Might be a red flag that he is TELLING you he has never had a long term relationship though. I mean, that could be someone telling you he is only looking for sex. Or setting you up for the beginning of love bombing (so he can go on to tell you you “aren’t like other women” and he’s never met someone like you before etc bullshit). Or oversharing in order to get you to over share. Just seems like a weird conversation to have with someone you’ve never even met.

Not a red flag at all. Get to know them first and meet and then decide. On the one hand they could be complete narcissists and on the other they could have previously met someone who was into mind games the way a fish is into water. However it may be a bit odd to tell you that initially.