I realize this may be a thread about a thread but...there was a poor woman who'd accompanied her husband to the UK for work and was relatively isolated and asking us for help about a recently discovered infidelity.
I think posters should be better at reading context rather than immediately treating every unusual detail as proof of insincerity. If someone is clearly distressed and asking for support, can we maybe try more posts that are helping and less repeated cross-examination of details?
I felt we let an OP down where she was very obviously not a native English speaker and said from the outset she was living in London because of her husband’s work. She appeared to be using AI to help write in English, and described her marriage as a love match . It was fairly easy to read between the lines and see there were cultural differences and probably minor language barriers.
Instead of helping posts focusing on the fact she was devastated about her DH’s affair, I think there were more posts on the thread interrogating details about:
- why her children’s ages/genders differed from previous posts
- why the husband would book two hotel rooms if having an affair
- why a woman would let a man pay for her STD tests
- whether AI meant she was a troll
Some minor details
were changed because she was clearly frightened of being identified. And the AI use seemed pretty clearly to be someone trying to communicate in a second language.
Its just a plea really that when some-one comes asking for help can we focus on that and be a bit broadminded and pick up on clues that affairs may present differently in other cultures.
In the end she deleted the thread because she felt the risk of being outed.
Obviously trolls exist, and if you think there is one then just report or skip that thread, don't cross examine details for some-one who is devastated and in crisis.