AIBU for wanting my partner to make more effort at home?

[Mother1990]

It’s a long one, looking for some clarity.

So my partner and I have been together for 13 years. We both work really long hours and we have a toddler. I do all the pick ups and drop offs as he starts work earlier and finishes later. I also do most of the cooking but in order to have dinner ready I leave work earlier and work in the evenings at home (Teacher).I do most of the house work and I’m just feeling like I am going to lose it. He never wants to go to family gatherings and says he arrives tired (feels like he’s the first person that has a job in the world!!!!)

He isn’t the most sociable person but I always make the effort to attend all of his family gatherings.

I sometimes take my toddler out on the weekends in the afternoon so he can have some peace and I am really starting to ‘dislike’ him as I never her alone time and it’s not reciprocal.

He also does not plan any dates or doesn’t celebrate Mother’s Day for me (he has been like this since we’ve met and it never used to bother me).

AIBU for wanting him to make more effort? I just feel like he could make more effort.

No you’re not being unreasonable. You are just yet another woman in a relationship with a man who doesn’t care.

What is he actually contributing to this family? This behavior would give me the ick.

You know the answer.

Why on earth are you putting up with this - he really just doesn’t appear to care about anybody but himself. YANBU.

What is the point of him? Sounds useless and like he doesn’t give a shit.

Why do you do the lions share? You are two grownups.

Jesus, this man sounds exhausting. Does he realise that once resentment kicks in, it’s pretty hard to reverse?

And he cannot even be arsed to marry you.

stop doing everything. Just stop. Tell him he needs to decide whether he is doing pick ups or drop offs. And he is now doing dinner every other night.

stop telling him to treat you like
shit.