Ex getting back in touch has knocked my progress and relationship

[aliumbear]

This is a bit of a vent? I was in an on off relationship with my ex I have learned about my past and how it effected me and led me to get into a dysfunctional relationship. I am in counselling, on antidepressants and seeing a psychiatrist. I did all that I was supposed to like started exercising, getting outside and into a routine and I am even in a new relationship now, which I enjoy being in and he made me feel so much better we have a lot of fun together and nice times. I was doing well until my ex reached out again, making promises to me to change and I made the mistake of responding even though my response was negative and honest it was still a response which I have spoken to everyone about they just said as long as I don't do it again. He sent a gift to my house, mentioned wanting to meet me again and I agreed so that we could talk and I could say what I wanted to say to him but it didn't happen as our schedules didn't align (and that's for the best) and my partner suggested it wasn't a good idea anyway. That was only a few weeks ago and I didn't block him as I thought this was my opportunity to get my feelings out to him and he is now saying not to get ahead of myself as he is going on a date. I didn't react as I usually would have when he would say those sorts of things, as I don't mind. He suddenly got aggressive and tried to tell me to stay and to be nice to him (I don't know what he was talking about) And so I think he expected me to be angry and was frustrated that I wasn't, but I don't know if I imagined that because it was a text conversation.
I was doing well but I have noticed that since he reached out in the first place, my medication has now become much less effective and I am getting back in to the same patterns as before and my new partner has noticed. I'm stuck in a mental loop. I'm also tired, can't concentrate, headaches, no interest in intimacy, I want to push everyone away and I'm irritable!
So my options are dealing with this therapeutically, making artwork about it maybe, talking to my counsellor, trying to forget about it, or all of that?

He is just drawing you back in to his web to know he has power over you. Getting in touch and then telling you not to get ahead of yourself - classic bread crumbing. Block him, and fix up an extra session with your therapist.

You know being around this man is just going to mess you up.
You have met someone else who must be very open in even discussing this ex with you.
Because you knew as soon as you left him unblocked there would be trouble.
You can talk to us, your friends and your counsellor but you know what the answer is - block him and move on.
It is that simple.

don’t disrespect your current partner like this op .
you need to block your ex as no good can come of this and he’s out to ruin your life I guarantee you .

I genuinely think you would benefit from time being single tbh.

You're disrespecting your current partner by acting like this.

Why did you invite him back in, knowing he has this effect on you?

I can't believe how cool your partner was about this ex being in touch.

Block on everything, gather up your dignity and move on from him. Stop all avenues of contact. If he sends another gift, bin it or refuse delivery.

You have control in this. Don't tell yourself you don't. Don't you want to be happy? You will never be happy with this ex in your life. Look what they did to you, oh I'm reaching out to remind you I am still here but look am going on a date, don't get too excited.

What kind of a head mess around is that?
Don't let them do it to you!

OP, you need to block him and not speak with him again. You leave the door open becuase you want closure but men like this do not ever give closuere. So you think, "Oky, I'll meet him because i can say what I want to say" and deep down you are also thinking, "and he'll acknowledge he was a dick". And what actually happens is the conversation is completely derailed. He ghosts you and doesn't turn up. He does turn up but spends the entire time telling you he's change. He turns up and you try to tell him what you feel and he turns it on you and accuses you of never letting things go, and that he just wanted to start fresh but here you are, doing what you always do....

So block him.

It wasn't an ex so I appreciate this is different for me, but I blocked exBIL about a year ago. I had not felt able to do it before of internal family politics. But then he sent me a message. On the surface, calm, reasonable, rational. And I found myself getting into this total spiral and I realised he's crazy. And I blocked him. And it was like a weight was lifted.

Block him now on everything. It won’t do any good to talk to him anyway

Why on earth would you think it was a good idea to meet up with him OP? It's a terrible idea and you're deluding yourself if you think otherwise. It's like you're addicted to him even though you know he's very bad for you. You're disrespecting your current partner by getting yourself back involved in this mess again and now you're obsessing over everything you've said and everything he's said.

Just block him, don't entertain him in anyway, don't open anything he sends you just bin it and get back to your healthy way of life. You're just allowing him to ruin your life again.

You’re giving your ex far too much headspace here. I feel sorry for your new partner. They’ve done nothing wrong but they’re getting a raw deal whilst you process the emotions that have been created by your actions.
Your ex won’t change and you have to stop their access to you.
I agree with PP’s, you need more time single before you treat a new partner like this. None of this is their fault. Work through it in therapy and then date when you’re ready.

Block, if you don’t they’ll wreck the rest of your life.

"Hi Joe, I have movd on with my life and I'm in a relationship, I don't wish you to contact me again in any shape or form. Thanks for respecting my wishes and best luck with everything. Susan"

Block. He's a toxic element in your life.

You know what you have to do. Stop communicating with him, block his number. If you continue down this path, you'll undo all the good work you've done and probably lose your new partner too.

Give yourself closer by blocking him . I can answer your questions ‘it’s because he’s a dick and will never change ‘ . You deserve better and you now have the chance to have it . Don’t be trauma bonded by him .