Advice please - is my 'co parent' a bare minimum parent?
He moved to North London when we split before my son was even born (I live in South West London).
He sees him every second weekend at his mums in North London (I take our son friday morning) he gets there friday night just before bed and leaves on Sunday at 3/4pm to drop him home.
When he has him he takes him to family members or a park or shopping centre (our son is 2).
Inbetween visits (11 days) he will video call inconsistently and only whilst he is driving to or from work so he us mostly distracted anyway. Some days its morning and night, some times it will be days inbetween. He sometimes calls after his bedtime. He never ever calls on a weekend and if he does its the most random time. If I dont pick up, he wont text to rearrange he will just say nothing.
He complains he never sees him, so I offer him to have him for more time and he always has an excuse. He never asks to have him extra. He uses his annual leave strictly for holidays with his girlfriend, he never takes a day iff when our son is unwell. Its always on me and I have been pulled in at work numerous times because of this. Often asks to swap weekends. Rarely remembers appointments and recently doesnt ask about him as much inbetween visits.
He moved to Wembley to be 'closer', yet he is still an hour away, still doesnt see him more and I still have to treck to North London to drop our son off. He works 20 mins from us, yet refuses to move despite spending 5 days out of the week in the area and his son living here.
His girlfriend lives on the complete other end of london (East) however he sees her most days. She reckons hes super dad because he's 'involved'.
He said he would take him swimming and teach him, still hasnt. He asks me to take him to get a haircut when he thinks it needs a cut - is this not a mans pride and joy taking his son to the barbers? If I ask he will do it, but its like he cant be bothered.
Our son comes home sometimes with long nails where I forgot to cut them, like hes waiting for me to cut them even though he can?
Whenever I raise a concern about parenting or our son, I am told I am too by the book, too serious, overthinking, etc when my concerns are valid - or I get vague answers as opposed to a conversation, for example 'yeah' 'sure' 'ok' 'ley me know'.
Just because he jokes around, plays with him and is nice to him does this make him a good parent? He seems to think hes responsible and a good dad, I beg to differ after speaking to various other single dads....
I have stopped giving updates and only communicate for logistics