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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My dangerous narcissist ex is threatening me after I warned his new girlfriend. Need advice/support

6 replies

KindHeartLearning · 26/05/2026 01:53

Hi everyone, I really need to vent and honestly, I could use some support.
A while ago, I found out that my ex-boyfriend was seeing both of us at the same time. He is a textbook narcissist. Because of this, I spoke with his new girlfriend to warn her about his cheating and his true colors. Initially, she actually believed me and broke up with him. That night, he completely lost his mind and called me non-stop until morning, threatening to kill me.
To get her back, he resorted to classic narcissistic manipulation: he found fake witnesses and convinced her that I’m just a drug-addicted liar. It worked, and they got back together.
Even though they are back together, he is still sending me death threats. I’ve already gone to the police and filed an official complaint against him. Meanwhile, the new girlfriend is posting stories on social media about how 'they will never break up no matter what they fight about,' thinking she has somehow 'won' or beaten me.
I’m focusing on my safety and the legal process, but the sheer delusion and the ongoing threats are exhausting. Has anyone dealt with a dangerous narcissist like this before?

OP posts:
amylou8 · 26/05/2026 01:57

Take a huge step back and don't engage any further. Block them on everything. Continue to report any threats to the Police. You've warned her, she's chose to believe him. This is no longer your circus.

KindHeartLearning · 26/05/2026 02:00

amylou8 · 26/05/2026 01:57

Take a huge step back and don't engage any further. Block them on everything. Continue to report any threats to the Police. You've warned her, she's chose to believe him. This is no longer your circus.

I've blocked him on everything, and I'm about to block her too because her posts are honestly so irritating

OP posts:
PoppinjayPolly · 26/05/2026 02:06

KindHeartLearning · 26/05/2026 02:00

I've blocked him on everything, and I'm about to block her too because her posts are honestly so irritating

Did you already know her? How did you end up as social media ‘friends’?

KindHeartLearning · 26/05/2026 02:09

PoppinjayPolly · 26/05/2026 02:06

Did you already know her? How did you end up as social media ‘friends’?

Yes, I did know her.We used to take the same class together, which is why we followed each other.That’s how I found out he was two-timing us, through her posts/stories

OP posts:
PossumHollow · 26/05/2026 02:15

As hard as it will be you need to back all the way off. This is not your problem anymore. Someone like him will always win in what is basically his area of speciality, manipulation and dishonesty, so there is just no point in trying to get involved. I understand the inclination to try and warn another woman, especially someone you know, but it was never going to work out well for you and has instead put you in danger whilst also allowing him to harm you by badmouthing you and damaging your reputation. Disconnect from him and anyone else in his life and start moving on.

KindHeartLearning · 26/05/2026 02:21

PossumHollow · 26/05/2026 02:15

As hard as it will be you need to back all the way off. This is not your problem anymore. Someone like him will always win in what is basically his area of speciality, manipulation and dishonesty, so there is just no point in trying to get involved. I understand the inclination to try and warn another woman, especially someone you know, but it was never going to work out well for you and has instead put you in danger whilst also allowing him to harm you by badmouthing you and damaging your reputation. Disconnect from him and anyone else in his life and start moving on.

I’ve finally backed off and blocked them both. To be honest, this narcissist has completely put me off relationships for a while.I was constantly subjected to manipulation and devaluation, and this whole nightmare taught me not to trust people easily. But looking at the bright side, I am finally free of him. I’m out.That girl will eventually see his true colors over time, but she is officially no longer my concern. I am focusing entirely on my own life and moving forward. I just hope they can’t do any more damage to me.Thank you all for your lovely support, it means a lot

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