Worried about kissing/intimacy?

[ThatOpalJoker]

I haven't been in a relationship before and I'm almost 27. I grew up in a repressive religious environment and also was known as the "weird" girl so boys never approached me or they would ask me out as a joke. I want to begin a family badly and I know my time is running out so I've been going on dates with guys but I'm worried about kissing and later "steps" of intimacy.

The main reason I'm worried is because I don't want to be so bad at kissing/intimacy and turn him off. Ever since I began working, I struggled to maintain employment. I'm not lazy or unmotivated, but I am a slow learner and people tend to dislike me even when I'm nice. I've quit or been fired from numerous jobs, enough for it to be a pattern, due to performance issues. I don't work fast enough and I can't socialize like everyone else. These jobs were in the restaurant industry, but I would probably struggle anywhere else. Since kissing is a skill, I don't want to be bad at that either especially since I've had no practice.

You sound OP as though you have pretty low self esteem.
Perhaps you should be looking for help to improve that?

Also perhaps if you are worrying about intimacy before you have even met somebody you are getting things in the wrong order? If you get to know someone and you like each other then you will be able to work on the kissing and the intimacy together.

I would concentrate on building a nice life for yourself. Clearly the jobs you are doing do not suit. If you feel content you are less likely to attract unsuitable potential partners. I would think about activities you enjoy and see if you can find some social clubs linked to this. I know you said you don't socialise like others, perhaps there will be something that might interest you?. At 27 you have plenty of time to start a family.

I agree that other posters are right that your self esteem is likely the issue here, but they've offered good advice on that, so I'll stick to the question you've asked.

Yes. Kissing is a skill, but its a skill that has to be relearnt with every new partner, so you're not really at a disadvantage. Good kissing isn't really about being skilful at it, but about being compatible with your partner, and responding to what each other is doing. It takes real effort when kissing someone new to unlearn everything you've learnt with previous partners, so as a "blank slate" you've actually got a little bit of an advantage there.

When it comes to further intimacy, I really wouldn't worry. As a woman interested in men, you're basically playing on easy mode. I'm bisexual, so have a decent amount of experience with both sexes, and men are much much easier to please than women. You'll find it very very difficult to do it badly enough for it not to be enjoyable for him.

Personally work on your self esteem but also if you want to just date get to know men and go out (restaurant, cinema, pub). Get used to being more confident around men and in their company.