Married nearly 60 years (to the same man). He’s now housebound and practically immobile following a series of strokes and general debilitation. We have daily carers in to help wash and dress him and I do the cooking and the shopping and feed him. Throughout our long marriage, he has never been at all demonstrative or openly affectionate, though when I’ve said “I love you” , he answers mechanically “I love you too”. Perhaps he means it. He’s never been one for cards or presents or taking me out on birthdays or anniversaries. I’ve organised special events, liike our Golden Wedding, 9 years ago.
Hes like this with our 3 adult children too and the grandchildren. That’s just what he’s like. I suppose I should be glad I’ve always had him and still do. Sickness and health and all that. But I do feel resentful he’s never demonstrated his love for me (such as it is) in any tangible way. I went to see his sister and BIL today (which is what has prompted this post) who have been married almost as long as us. He was holding her hand and looking at her so lovingly. I thought of my own arrid marriage, sadly. People have much worse marriages, I’m only too aware. He’s never abused me in any way, just taken me for granted. I suppose that’s got to do.