Does anyone husbands give pocket money to their wives?

[mazma]

relations

My mum used to be given an allowance by her husband, even when she worked full time. He very much controlled their finances. She does have a bit of history re: debt, gambling etc. but nothing too serious.

Definitely not something I would stand for (although I was financially abused by an ex partner). I earn more than dh but we split money pretty equally to ensure all outgoings are covered. We each have fun money but meals and days out all come from the joint account.

I’m a sahm. Dh transfers me money at the start of each month (I wouldn’t call it pocket money as it’s a signicant amount) if I need more it’s fine, if I need to make a big purchase we discuss it…. As we would if I was working.

My dad used to give my mum house keeping money which went in a purse in the kitchen drawer. But they would be 100 now.
We have always had completely joint finances & it worked for us. Sometimes I earned more, sometimes he did.

Are you 18 yet?

I’m also a SAHM and get money transferred at the start of the month. I also have access to anything else I want. I also do a bit of work from time to time and that’s mine as well!

Op, you must understand that this is a very strange question without any context!

can you explain the root of your question?

my best guess would be - you’re a sahm who is being financially abused?

Goodness me no! My parents used to (begrudgingly) gave me pocket money when I was a child. Now I’m an adult I earn my own money. As for the point of being married, well it’s about mutual love, affection and emotional support, plus it’s easier to get a mortgage with another person.

Is this serious?

My dad used to give my mum housekeeping but as pps' have mentioned they too would be over 100 now (which is a mind boggling thought!). We are both retired and have two joint accounts, so we can easily access them should the need arise, but they've always been one for bills and one not. The only time my dh gives me 'money' is birthday and Christmas but that's usually vouchers, otherwise I have no need for it. I can't remember the last time I paid cash for anything!

I've never heard of pocket money as a term used to give adults money. My dad gives my mum housekeeping every month because she does the shopping and the cooking. He insures the cars and pays for the maintenance and fuel. He pays for the house insurance and home maintenance, including utilities. They were married to each other in the past but then divorced for 16 years before they remarried one another.

So after a very sticky divorce they keep their finances separate - they are also elderly, dad is 80 and mum is 77, so they have set up their finances with the end game in sight and it makes sense to keep them separate for that reason as well. But it's not pocket money, it's a housekeeping allowance. He has a pension, she has a pension. They each have premium bonds too. They have their own spending money from when they were in work.

My dad used to give my mum "housekeeping " I'm sure it was £60 a month in the early 70s.
Mum didn't work. She had access to their joint account they shared everything. Dad paid into a pension for her which she saved up and they lived on his pension. Shed accrued quite a lot when she died which my dad now has.

You need to provide context and background.

I would say the concept of pocket money between adults is a very unusual, borderline abusive, arrangement.

if this is a joke, please find something better to do. If this is not a joke, op you must be a very vulnerable adult, so, options…

2 married adults without children would have their own jobs. They would share the housework equally. If one earns more than the other they may sometimes put more towards joint bills or treats.

if one spouse expects the other to stay at home and do the housework and have no paid role, and that person does not wish to do that, that is abusive. If it’s mutually desired then the one income goes in to a joint account which both people have access to.

if the married couple have children and one wishes the stay home and care for the children, and this is mutual, then again, one joint account both have access to.
if the married couple have children and neither want to stay at home and do childcare, then the children go in to childcare, both parents work and join their incomes.

in 2026 there is no call for ‘pocket money’.

Both of our earnings is pooled and split 50 50. We don't have 'your money vs my money'. We share a life.

Pocket money is a term from when nearly literally everything was paid for in cash. You used to have to go into the bank to get cash, or take it out of your little brown wages envelope.

First came cheque books, then card payments, so you didn’t always have to pay cash. Then came ATMs, so you could get cash when the bank wasn't open. Now there are lots of ways of paying online, with banking apps, Paypal, still cards (and rarely, still cheques) without ever handling actual cash.

There are still couples where one or other of them controls all the money, else we'd not have developed the term financial abuse. I've met some people who have been happy yo wash their hands of the responsibility of bills, which makes them vulnerable, but it is a choice some make. There are couples where there is only one income, and that can mean the other gets an allowance for personal spending (on top of household expenses etc.) Again, it puts them into a vulnerable position.

But generally, pocket money is an anachronistic term.

When DH was a stay at home Dad my salary was split 3 ways. The bulk went into the joint account for bills etc, the remainder was split and went into our personal accounts. We jokingly referred to DH’s portion as his “beer money”. I did feel it’s important not to have to account for every penny spent. Nor did I want to know what he spent on my birthday present.

it worked for us.

To their wives or their wives relations?

My grandfather ( coal miner ) used to give his entire wage to my grandmother, then she would give him his club money back for the week