Hello, firstly can I preface this by saying I'm well aware that I'm being a scumbag. And I could behave differently. Im a 35 year old male in the UK, I am with a 37 year old lady and we have a daughter together. We have been together a couple of years and are planning to move in together in September. Everything in our relationship is good, we get on well, she makes me laugh, we've done a lot together and we have good times. However in January I was sectioned. Whilst I was sectioned I met a woman, she was visiting another patient in the unit and we began talking. She asked me for my socials and I gave it to her. I didn't think anything of it as she was 49 at the time, she's now 50. A few weeks went by and I was at home, she began messaging me and then we were speaking most days. I agreed to meet her for coffee and it went well, again it seemed just nice, but nothing else l, nothing more. However a few weeks ago I was at mine on my own, and I'd been drinking and self harming again. I didn't reach out to my girlfriend, but reached out to this older woman. She came around, and one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. It was amazing, the best iv ever had. And I feel strange about it because I don't really find her attractive. I don't want to be with this woman, I want to be with my girlfriend. But I don't feel like I can tell my girlfriend about my mental struggles. So I keep it from her and tell her I'm working away for that period of time. This older woman makes me think I can be myself Infront of her, at my most vulnerable and completely striped back. I'm now in a dilemma as this has happened a few times. ........ Do I tell my girlfriend about this? And be honest. Or do I tell the 50 year old that I can't do it anymore and just hope she keeps quiet. I don't want to keep doing this because it's not right, and it's not fair on my girlfriend. I feel awful for her and I know it'll crush her if/when she finds out.