For abt 8 months I been hanging with my friend Charlie (fake names) and his girl Na. I met Charlie at school and would laugh and hang, but that’s all we weren’t super close but it was fun to hang around each other at school. Then he moved and didn’t talk. Abt 8 months ago we reconnected . He hit me up to smoke and I was down but when I when to their house to meet, it was so dirty and “poor” that I deadahh thought it was trap house. They live with Charlie’s sister house bc theyre parents are both too toxic to live with. Seriously they have some sad crazy back stories that explains their bad habits. That’s why I like hanging with them I relate to bc I have a turblandent life. The problem is not the fact that have a live in a very economy disadvantaged neighborhood and house, as I have too. the problem is that they are very flawed in ways; they ask me for money a lot, I have sent like 230$ in total. They also careless spend the money they really need on weed,fast food, and snacks when they should be going to the grocery store and buy shit like toilet paper instead. Na has a job, but Charlie can’t bc he needs his mom to send him his birth documents and stuff, and didnt raise the funds to buy his birth certificate. He also not in school currently bc of that.
However, They both are aware they aren’t living right but aren’t where they need to be. Charlie (I’m closer to him) tells me how he wish he didn’t have to ask for money n have his own shi among other things. But I never really cared about who they were until today. We had a talk and Charlie was reminiscing abt how we first met and were talking about what a life of peace would look like to us. And I realize he actually sees me as friend and he’s attached to me.
I realize I been selfishly only hanging out with them bc I don’t feel judged, don’t have to be along, and just smoke. It’s nice to hang out with them, but I’m aware I see them sorta as a joke. A circus. I am by no means perfect, but I don’t think I would make some of the decisions they make that obvi leads to negative consequences. and I’m not trying to judge them , I mean I choose to hang out. But now I’m not sure if I should continue to? When I told my older sister she said they ask for too much money cut them off. but during the time where I was being strict and saying no all the time to giving them money, we were all still cool so it’s not like the friendship is from using me although I think they do take advantage of me finically a little. Should I just continue to be friends but tell him he needs to lock the fuck in. It seems like he doesn’t have role models to check him like I did.
Charlie has a lot of good qualities tho. he listens well, he breaks bread with people even with the lil shi he has, he’s funny, does actually chase his dream of being a rapper and nba star (even if it’s unlikely), can start a conversation with strangers n shi. There’s a lot of things I like having him as a friend, but there’s a lot of deeply flawed things about him that idk I should hang around and be influenced. For context I am a senior (18) and going to the best college in my state that it’s also a top national college. I was top 5% in my school last year, but my grades have dropped from poor time management. Even tho I’m a senior I take colledge classes at my local uni for colledge credits. But I do procrastinate a lot, dissociate, and have a bad relationship with drugs. Still I feel like I should be surrounding myself my people doing good in school, and take accountability for their actions.
Thank you if you actually read this, honestly I really need so big sister/brother advice.