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Relationships

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Single at 46 with more free time, how do others cope?

21 replies

superfrog2 · 21/05/2026 18:55

Out of a relationship at 46! Kids are old enough to do their own thing now…I feel lost and wondering what others do to occupy their spare time? Friends have younger kids and husbands and I’m still young enough to go out but need to meet more people and have some more fun!

OP posts:
Lifeisexpensive · 21/05/2026 19:20

So I fill my time with either running or drinking wine. Obviously running is the better of the two, do you have a sport you like?

Temporaryname158 · 21/05/2026 19:23

I am often bored! that then leads me to lack of motivation to do anything and I end up scrolling like I am now.

i have loads of friends, a busy job, but that just means that when the kids aren’t here I am tired/unmotivated. I’m fine if I’ve made plans to meet friends but otherwise I’m down times I just can’t settle so I understand how you feel

Mondaymorningagainnnn · 21/05/2026 19:24

I started at the gym and made friends there who have actually become really good friends and we go out Saturday night together

IWetMyPlants · 21/05/2026 19:25

The gym (made quite a few friends) walking the dog, being in nature, reading in bed, having a bath! Just lots of things! You don't have share the remote so many wonderful things being single as a Pringle! I have a gym friend that is 50 she is always going on 'messy holidays' she is my idol!

arethereanyleftatall · 21/05/2026 19:29

Cope? Bloody hell, I absolutely love free time. I’ve got so much stuff I love doing - swimming, yoga, walking solo, walking with friends, gardening, watching films, mumsnet, going out for dinner, reading, peace and quiet. I could very very happily fill every day with no work for years and years.

Tinybiker · 21/05/2026 19:29

Im part of a motorcycle club. Didn't know any of the group before joining. We travel all the time with or without the bikes, have loads of social meet ups. Group is full of people of all ages and men and women. It has changed my life. Age range from 18 to 80. My point is just get out and do something, it can lead on to anything.

PinkEasterbunny · 21/05/2026 19:34

Mondaymorningagainnnn · 21/05/2026 19:24

I started at the gym and made friends there who have actually become really good friends and we go out Saturday night together

My gym is very sociable but this never seems to go beyond hello’s and small talk? What’s your secret @Mondaymorningagainnnn ?

Nightlifes · 21/05/2026 19:46

Im 39 childless and ive been single 12 year and love it.
I do what i want most resent thing is sewing the last was knitting made a blanket.
I also enjoy a slow walk at nights cool air night brezze.
Movies watching all the films that was boring to others.
You find yourself along the way im very happy and content with me and being single i dont miss a man in my life and have no plans to get one either.
I know thats not the case for all women but it is for me.

superfrog2 · 21/05/2026 21:18

Mondaymorningagainnnn · 21/05/2026 19:24

I started at the gym and made friends there who have actually become really good friends and we go out Saturday night together

Which gym do you go to? Is it local I do go to my local Nuffield (reduced rate through work) but usually swimming so not much chat or maybe chat in the sauna or steam room !

OP posts:
superfrog2 · 21/05/2026 21:20

arethereanyleftatall · 21/05/2026 19:29

Cope? Bloody hell, I absolutely love free time. I’ve got so much stuff I love doing - swimming, yoga, walking solo, walking with friends, gardening, watching films, mumsnet, going out for dinner, reading, peace and quiet. I could very very happily fill every day with no work for years and years.

AI suggested I rephrase the title of my post!! So cope probably not the best word I am grateful that I have time to even have options just feel a bit lost and bit scared of putting my self out there ( for want of better phrase!!)

OP posts:
superfrog2 · 21/05/2026 21:22

PinkEasterbunny · 21/05/2026 19:34

My gym is very sociable but this never seems to go beyond hello’s and small talk? What’s your secret @Mondaymorningagainnnn ?

Yes my conversations are usually sweaty in the steam room!

OP posts:
superfrog2 · 21/05/2026 21:24

Lifeisexpensive · 21/05/2026 19:20

So I fill my time with either running or drinking wine. Obviously running is the better of the two, do you have a sport you like?

Think I just miss people around me without having to necessarily make plans. I know I should really complain just thought I’d post because this is always a great forum for ideas from other mums / women x

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 21/05/2026 21:26

Yeah I hear you.

i had similar.

i started joining absolutely everything I could think of and it did take awhile but now I have good friends again and if I’m feeling bored or lonely there are friends I can text or call.

it’s hard putting yourself out there to make the friends though. Took me a while.

Yellowshirt · 21/05/2026 21:29

I'm 44. Been single for afew years. I work, run and sleep.
I've just got zero motivation since divorce in 2918

PinkEasterbunny · 22/05/2026 07:08

It was weekends and Bank Holidays , and that weird week between Christmas and New Year that I found particularly hard. As the OP said - when you don’t have people around you unless you have made plans.

A decent circle of single friends can be hard to come by once you’re past your 20s

FlatCatYellowMat · 22/05/2026 07:19

TBH I don't have much spare time, but what spare time I have I pick up whatever takes my fancy (currently I'm building a spinning wheel for example). I'm doing stuff around the house like sorting out my office, decorating the bathroom, I joined a book club (to take me out of my normal book-reading habits and read stuff I wouldn't otherwise read), I'm on a couple of online forums (smaller ones so it's actually friendly rather than like this). I've even tried Bingo (with a friend), and done a couple of short courses that caught my eye.

Personally I'm not looking for another relationship, what I'm looking forward to is eldest learning to drive, and hopefully cutting my hours so I have even more time for the various nonsense I want to get up to!

GreyCarpet · 22/05/2026 07:37

I always recommend these on these types of threads.

Swing dance lessons - lots of people, very sociable environment, social dances and festivals. Although it's a couple dance, there are lots of single people who go and you rotate partners anyway. There's a huge range of people that go to these.

Community Choir - you don't need to be able to sing brilliantly. Anyone can sing well enough to be in a choir. Again, lots of women of all ages, generally very sociable.

Small gigs in local pubs - I don't think I've ever been to one on my own where I haven't been co-opted into a group of women! Women tend to be quite welcoming when they see lone women out in the wild 😉

Things at home - OU courses - anything from a short course to a degree.

Sort the house - decluttering, decorating, craft stuff.

ForTipsyFinch · 22/05/2026 14:54

Tbh I don’t find many men good company anyway so I never feel lonely being single. If I fancy company I see friends, if not I go out wherever I fancy, I like staying in with my books and shit films 🤣

Mondaymorningagainnnn · 22/05/2026 20:28

PinkEasterbunny · 21/05/2026 19:34

My gym is very sociable but this never seems to go beyond hello’s and small talk? What’s your secret @Mondaymorningagainnnn ?

I’m actually quite quiet but there is a lady here who talks to everyone and she has kind of got everyone together and made a WhatsApp group and makes the arrangements. It’s really good

Ilovelurchers · 22/05/2026 21:41

Are you looking to date again, or just wanting to do more stuff with friends?

I've actually reconnected with a few old school friends since being single - people I still kept loosely in touch with on Facebook but hadn't actually seen in decades. It took a bit of courage to suggest a meeting, but generally I think most people are really pleased to get a invitation to go for drinks or a coffee - I'm a similar age to you and I think a lot of us are now feeling a little....isolated? Too strong a word maybe but I am not sure what the right one is. Including women who are still with their partners - a lot of us feel like we have got out of the habit of going out, socialising.

I also take myself out sometimes, whether that's to the cinema, to the pub with a book, or to look round a nice local town maybe? Or take a book and a drink to the park now the weather is getting nicer.

At home I read loads, do a few easy crafts, bake sometimes. When I was first single I was a little depressed I think, and did a lot of jigsaws - my brother's counsellor told him they are good for anxiety and depression, and I found that really true!

I also got a cat, who is great company.

And I take one of my elderly relatives, who is quite vulnerable, out for coffee every month or so. I very rarely used to have the tone before. She says it's made her feel a lot better about her life, and I feel good that I am helping someone else feel good.

My mom is recently widowed and I also try to spend time with her regularly......

If I think of anything else I will let you know. The main thing is, be kind to yourself. It's understandable to feel lonely sometimes - be your own best friend and treat yourself with gentleness and care.

SmallandSpanish · 22/05/2026 21:54

superfrog2 · 21/05/2026 21:20

AI suggested I rephrase the title of my post!! So cope probably not the best word I am grateful that I have time to even have options just feel a bit lost and bit scared of putting my self out there ( for want of better phrase!!)

Don’t let this comment get to you. It jumped out as showy offy and unhelpful to me. Either insensitive or designed to make them feel superior.
its perfectly normal to feel like a bit lost. Imagine the most confident version of you, how would that person like to spend time? If fear or doubt or nerves or self doubt wasn’t an issue? Take one baby but practical step towards that vision.

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