Help!

[JessicaRabbit23]

Odd one
I love my husband, a lot of ups and downs over the years. 3 children. I feel like I’m destined for more though. Whatever that is I don’t know. I want super yachts (a girl can dream) and nice holidays and he would be happy to mope around smoking w33d. We are about to move nearer to my mum, and I can’t help but feel like I want more from life. It’s always been me, yes he has provided but in terms of house it was me that had the deposit for it, me that’s giving us an easy life for the future. If we split up he will be entitled to half which is why I’m reluctant. When I move do I do a declaration of trust to cover myself? I just have this feeling I’m settling. He is not a leader and I think this is what I’m yearning for

I think we can say weed on here. He's unlikely to change now so you need to decide if you want to compromise. A super yacht is prohibitively expensive though and people underestimate the running costs.

Have you tried cosmic ordering?

You should have thought about this LONG ago.

I think there’s a huge gap between wanting a super yacht and wanting to be taken out for dinner rather than loafing at home. Do you want the luxury or do you want (a bit?) more attention/fuss made about you?

If he’d coughed up the deposit for the home next to your mums, would you be thrilled or still hoping for mr moneybags?

He can’t even cough up the money for a holiday and has already said he is going to stop working on Saturdays when we are mortgage free. Which worried me into thinking he’s had everything on a plate and he wouldn’t have anything if it wasn’t for me. I just feel maybe I am taken for granted

I know! He had his own business back then and it was booming I didn’t think we would be where we are now back then.

I manifested once and my dad died 😩

Is this thread serious? W33d? Are we 13?

You’ve not got shared aims then - he’s looking for the easiest route to putting his feet up, and you’re looking for a home and holidays. Important to get on same page before moving, I think.

He prefers weed. He can’t see the point of you except as a paying bangmaid.

Please have a long, hard look at the future he is actually offering you. Because you seem to be living off the dream of what he should be offering. They are two different lives and only one is and will continue to be reality.

I think you need to give a bit more detail as it seems a bit of a drip feed about the situation.

What work do you plan to do to be able
to afford a yacht?

You are being taken for granted and he is the gold digger. If you put the money on the house, then consult a lawyer and make sure your share is reflected in the deed. Do you have a prenup? If you split up at that rate not only he will get half, you will pay spousal maintenance..

Thank you. The future is bleak, he has no investments no pensions, he is not a natural born leader. This is what I am worrying about. Our future, because he’s not interested in anything other than what he does for work. There’s no ambition and he’s nearly 40

Weed doesn’t encourage ambition. Or enthusiasm. Or energy.

If all that is what you would prefer in a partner, you need to look elsewhere.

As you are married with kids
and I imagine you are rolling the equity into the new place, I imagine he may wonder why you need the declaration and will challenge it. The deposit you paid in the past is not relevant now imo has mingled in the marital pot

If he’d coughed up the deposit for the home next to your mums, would you be thrilled or still hoping for mr moneybags?

Or maybe she'd have left him because the split would now be more equal?

@JessicaRabbit23, the longer you stay with him, the more he'll get.

I’m buying solely in my name as I won’t need a mortgage. He said he’s ok with this.

Yes, and without the declaration he would still be entitled to half of it.

So, as PP said, he may wonder why you want the declaration.

He’s a drug addict. Your poor kids

Not sure why you’re still with this person

Half the house is his and I don’t think you can change that now. The only reasonable way to secure your future without him as a drain is to divorce now, give him his half and then build your own finances again by yourself. You say you love him but clearly not enough, just bite the bullet.

Hope your hubbie has the motivation to sign a HR1 home rights form. Sounds like you are angling to throw him out down the line

I tried that. Asked for Richard Gere and it sent me Noel Edmonds….

I asked for Mr Darcy and got Mr Blobby.