Disaster at texting in ldr.

[fishermanfog]

He’s so chatty and loves people to people interaction. He’s consistent, interested and eager about me and us yet… he’s a disaster with texting . He just isn’t into it. We voice note and have a chat every second night but it’s leaving g me bemused to say the least.
He may or may not respond to texts . Doesn’t usually acknowledge anything romantic I may send.. he also sends them and I do acknowledge .
He simply hates texting. Thinks it’s futile . Any advice ?
Were 50btw

Stop texting

First post nails it.

Just leave it

Some people just aren't that into texting. I'm not tbh. I'm dating someone who is pretty shit on text although very deep/eloquent/funny in real life. But I don't mind, because to me there is nothing worse than being bombarded by texts all day. I had a previous relationship where my partner was quite controlling and that partly manifested in an incessant WhatsApp conversation where if I ever did not respond quickly there were demands to know why, constant intrusion on anything I was doing that took my attention from him.

Texts are not all they're cracked up to be IMO!

I'm very long winded in texts. I marvel when someone posts a screen shot of texts on MN and they are just one liners and emojiis. I couldn't text like that but the way I text takes a lot of effort.

If your bf is very chatty perhaps he doesn't like one liners and perhaps he has too much to say to you to make texting enjoyable?

Much better to use a form of communication that works for you both

You voice note and chat every other day. That's already a lot.

What's so incredibly important that texts in between times are essential, if he doesn't like it?

He's great in person, and he is communicative, just not in the mode you might prefer.
So either get over the desire for constant texting (as there are plenty of people who don't enjoy it) and enjoy what you do have, or decide it's a deal breaker and leave.
He has his preferences, which he's entitled to. You have yours, which you're also entitled to. It's either something you can accept, or you walk away.

I would expect replies to my texts even if it wasn’t his preferred method of communication tbh!

Maybe focus on calls but do them more often for shorter periods though if he prefers. Nothing worse than days of silence in a relationship though

I dislike it when texts aren't acknowledged, especially romantic ones! My partner isn't that much into texting but I had an open conversation with him about my basic expectations. Simple things like good morning, good night, general check-in convo. And that romantic texts. These little gestures are so important when you don't live together. It's nice that you are talking on the phone regularly. Can you both meet in the middle, maybe a compromise of some kind?

Mine is like that. 4.5 years of long distance but he dislikes texting. I am resigned to many of my texts being unanswered for a day or two or not at all. Or not being read as he doesn't notice them. His family have complained of the same thing so it's not just me.

He does like to ring, in the early days it was every 2-3 days but it has become most days and at weekend many times in the day if we are not together. I used to dislike phone conversations but I love them with him and I'm totally fine with how things are with our communication. We are also early 50s. You will settle into your rhythm. You won't be able to change him!

It depends what the texts are that he's not responding too.

If they're finalising plans or sharing necessary info and you're left for days not knowing what's going on, that's pretty shit.

If it's several little shared snippets of daily life, I find that quite intrusive and disruptive.

You send voice notes and chat every other night, so i suspect its the latter rather than the former and there can't be much meaningful left to text about in between?

Some people just don't feel the need to be constantly connected.

Stop texting then , he is clearly not into and it’s making you unhappy as well

Phone him ?

It's not really a disaster, it's a difference in styles.

I would expect messages like "not going to get there until later on Friday" to get a response, but less urgent stuff maybe not. I can't have my phone in the office, though, and I binned off one potential date who kept demanding to know why I hadn't responded, even after I had told him I had a really busy day at work ahead with no phones.

But there are other times I will do long texts back and forth because we're online together, so it's not like I don't text at all.