When did he tell you how he felt?

[jimmyswinnin]

Together three months . In our fifties.
Hes consistent, romantic, eager, plans great dates, loyal etc but I’ve no idea from his words how he feels !
I know he loves what we have and sees us as I see us which is exclusive , connect well and enjoying it all. We live an hour away so see each other once a week right now and will for a long time as we’re both busy and committed to our children and other areas of life .
should he be expressing himself with words ?? He isn’t really.
Am I overthinking perhaps ?

Words are cheap, I learnt that with an ex who was quick to say grandiose words but very selfish. Do his actions make you feel cherished and appreciated?

Sounds like things are going well. I would value the words more if they came with thought and actions, and in due course.

Actions speak louder than words - and if you need to hear the words then have the conversation - come on, I'm 50 in 2.5 years and if I was uncertain I would just ask! We're long enough in the tooth surely?

Things are great ! Just no words really!

Actions are sometimes words made visible....

How does he look at you? How keen is he?

And are words of affirmation important to you, regardless of of what his style is - are they your style?

He is very keen. There has been no stage where he hasn’t done what he’s said he’s said he’s going to do or been romantic or followed through but even when I compliment him, he brushes it off . He is chatty and outgoing though so not sure it down to being shy

Also it's only been three months - I am going to use the MN trope of having mayonnaise older than your relationship in my fridge! I rarely have told anyone the 'L' word before six months and even stuff less flowery - as I say, actions speak louder than words. Particularly as we get older and need to be clearer on our feelings before we announce anything. We've been burned before! But if it is so important to you at this stage - after 12 weeks - then have the conversation. Honest opinion? I think you're jumping the gun. He's treated you well and we don't all want to be pressured into putting labels on things so soon. Not a criticism of you - just an observation as someone of a similar age.

I feel desired and cherished and very important to him.

Just give it time, three months is still the honeymoon stage where feelings feel stronger than they may balance out to be and it’s easy to get swept up. He’s likely trying to make sure he means what he says before he says it.

Focus on his actions being reflective of serious and growing feelings and don’t put so much focus on the words he uses. Some people just aren’t good at expressing their feelings but they feel them as hard as anyone else!