How to cope with family member

[thekindoflovewemake]

I have a close family member who I have to see fairly regularly.

Every time I see them, I just get a list of all their problems - health issues, problems with the landlord, general tales of woe. It gets me down so much that I’ve started avoiding contact for a couple of weeks at a time just for my own mental health.

I know I’m not really expected to sort all the issues, just be supportive but I’m struggling with it. Does anyone else have this and how do you deal?

To an extent. I had it with some family where they would bombard me with all their problems as soon as I got through the door (after an hour and a half drive to see them). I had to set a boundary and say I need to have a cup of tea first before we can talk about it all.

Could you try and mix up the format? Go for a walk or a garden centre visit etc to try and make things slightly more cheery?

The only thing you need to deal with is letting them get things off their chest. They just need you to listen, and to make sympathetic noises.

I know, but it’s so draining.

Ginger feels for you...

I'd chime in with a few of your own moans - cut him/her off with 'yes, I know what you mean, I've had xxxxx this week and it's really got me down' and beat them at their own game! Then you can add 'Right, we've both had a good moan, let's talk about something more cheerful, we don't want to be moaning minnies!'

Failing that, maybe cut back on how much time you're spending with them?