Divorce - how do you practically do it with a young child?

[A858]

We have DS 1.5 years old. For various reasons I need to leave, can provide details but I’m trying to keep it short.

I can’t see a way how it practically would work. Firstly, husband currently earns very little with self-employed work and couldn’t afford renting another place - we live mortgage-free in a flat I own, but I realise this is now half his. However, even if we sell it, neither one of us would be able to buy somewhere with our share. And a sale would take many months, what do we do in the meantime? Most realistic scenario if I tell husband that I want to divorce is that he’d stay with friends or family, or maybe in a shared flat, but he will have DS at times and I don’t want them to sleep on the sofa somewhere.
Secondly, DS adores him and I don’t want to deprive him of his dad or limit the contact to 1-2 times per week at most. If husband does have work, it starts very early in the morning and that would either mean that he can’t have DS overnight during the week, or he’d need to get a nanny who sends DS to nursery in the morning but I don’t want DS to wake up to a stranger.
Thirdly, husband doesn’t want to divorce and would make this hell for me in any way he can.

If you’ve left with a young child, how did you make this work practically?

Everyone's circs are so different op, you need legal advice.

Start sending off enquiries today and get some calls tomorrow.

I left with no assets with small DC in tow, the custody is still in process (long, traumatic, shit).

You might be able to work out contact arrangements that fit your needs or it might take mediation or family court as a last resort.

You can get orders whereby you can remain in the family home and or you can both stay in the property but be divorcing although that sounds hellish I know people have done it

You need to get copies of your docs and his income etc

And yes I hear you to your last sentence re your stbxh likely making it hell.

@Thiswasanescapeplan thanks for replying. I’m going round in circles, I think there’s just no way how I can make it work without it being totally horrible for my son and me. I’m feeling so stuck in a marriage where my husband doesn’t show me any love or respect but I can’t help wondering if leaving will be worse still.

Do get legal advice asap on all aspects of divorce including access. If your h does not show you any love or respect why would you want to remain with him?. He’s not going to make it easy for you to leave anyway likely because he is abusive towards you . Staying therefore would be far worse for you and this relationship is no model to be showing your child.

In the immediate short term it might feel a bit worse op, purely because you might be right that he makes this very difficult for you

I wish I could tell you the things mine has done that really beggar all belief. I still don't know how I still believe in the goodness of people after everything I know he's done, it's been a real eye opener but not in a good way 😓

Do you have family or friends that you trust and know they will always be on Team You?

And keep copies of everything financial

I am not trying to put you off leaving him, I had to because I couldn't stay a minute longer but you might need to be prepared for a wobbly take off for your new chapter that's all ❤️‍🩹