Is our income-based split of bills and spending fair in marriage?

[Jennifer89]

I earn more than my husband not by a huge about. About £250 more a month. We used to halves on bills but since being married we discussed seems more fair to contribute based on our incomes. My income has gone up more as basically my company has been better with pay rises and his is more stingy. It is tricky one as his salary potential is stalling but his company has certain benefits such as he can work from home every day and they are flexible with school runs which will come in handy for when daughter starts school. He can work 35 hour week and finish early and he gets 30 days holiday. He currently does nursery pick ups and home by around 4.30pm. Fridays our daughter doesn't attend. I have half day off and half day grandparents help.
Whilst he could find a job paying more the benefits could not be so good so something we are weighing up.

How we organise finances is a percentage split based on our income for bills, food, childcare etc. We put some money in joint family account for stufff for our daughter and meals out etc. Then any money left equal amount for each individual accounts leaves us about £500 each. Only compromise is any bonus money I keep as it isn't huge amount a year around £1000 and I do spend more on hair appointments and other things.
In future once no longer have childcare we plan to put more into joint savings/towards paying off mortgage.

I just wondered other ladies opinions if this sounds a fair arrangement? My husband says he feels bad contributing less than me and worries each year I will keep adding more as my income increases. I question if maybe he feels that way as he is the man/father. How do other ladies on here earning slightly more split finances?
During maternity leave he covered majority of bills. I just added in around £400 from maternity pay and we managed.

Just to clarify my bonus is only about 1k if that and it is taxed..we have discussed already and he is fine with it as I spend more on hair appointments and clothes for office so he feels that is fair

Well yes, if you genuinely both have the exact same amount of personal spending money each month (do you?). What’s the point then of working out the % split of your salaries if that’s the case?

Why don’t you just have your salaries going into the joint account and the bills go out of that? Anything left over you both decide what you can do with.

I think you’re making this way too complicated, and this focus on getting a split that precisely reflects your respective salaries, and then having a separate arrangement for a bonus, makes your relationship sound like a business arrangement rather than a marriage.

If it works for you, then fine, but the fact you’re posting on here indicates otherwise. I’m divorced now, but in my 20 years of marriage we pooled our money in a joint account and transferred some equally to personal accounts (money wasn’t the reason we divorced).

The more your individual finances diverge, the more arrangement will become strained, especially if one of you loses your job. How would you manage then?

Reading this, it sounds like you do pool your money and then separate our equal amounts between you for personal spending.

If so, what’s the point of all this calculation of your respective contributions? It seems pointless, and just causes unnecessary tension between you. Or am i missing something?

You should leave yourself with equal spending money each month, and you should definitely share the bonus. You're a team, and his lower earnings benefit the family with his flexibility.

If you split based on % income, then transfer the same amount to individual accounts, what happens to the rest though. Or is the initial split all of your earnings?

Crikey couldn't do marriage like that...everything goes in joint account, one amount gets transferred into a bills only account once a month and amount into another for holidays , whatever is left in joint is for anyone to use dh,me, kids etc no issues who spends more or less

We just put our salaries in joint account to cover bills and take some money out for family fund..we budget an amount for stuff for daughter and family days out. Then we transfer same amount each into individual accounts

That is basically what we do. I am not sure where the misunderstanding is here? We don't micromanage how much we both spend

Then why are you bothering to have discussions about who is contributing what amount? Seems likes it’s a sticking point for your husband, so why are you poking at it?