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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

How are single parents coping without love and / or friends?

27 replies

Oldfailed · 15/05/2026 23:51

I wonder how single parents here are coping with living in an emotional vacuum - if there are any who identify with this?

It isnt just the lack of a partner or a relationship, but also not having a caring adult (parent, friend, sibling) who has your back. How do you cope with that?

Im 3 years post divorce. Had a couple of very short lived fwb sort of relationships (if they can be called that) since then. Moderately high earner, intense job, 2 children mostly with me. I just seem to pivot between working, childcare and life admin, without any circuit breaker. Dont have close friends who have the bandwidth to spend time with me- everyone is busy in their own happily married lives, with their work, partners, and kids.

I have no siblings, parents live abroad. I crave human connection, a meaningful conversation, someone to genuinely care about me. What can I do to meet this need? I don't have much time available to try and seek new friends either, and it is so much harder to do this in my mid 40s. I have previously posted before on my dire experience with online dating - im off the apps for now.

Single mums - I know only a couple of them who are very bitter (even more than I am!) with their lot - I find it depressing speaking with them.

Genuinely wondering what has worked for you?

OP posts:

localnotail · Today 07:47

I have been a single parent for over 20 years now, and I dont have many friends or a partner - I never dated since splitting up from my ex, I actually dont want a man, when I became single at 42 I had enough of them and their shit.

The thing is, I dont have time for much... I work full time, and I have my child pretty much 100% of the time - except for a few hours at weekend. I sometime dont have time to cut my nails, I dont wear make up or watch TV as I have no time for those. I have friends but I dont see them often, I lost a few over the years as they got upset I never had time for them.

However I recently started to get more free time as my DC is growing up, so sometimes would go out and do stuff by myself. I also moved here in my 20s so never went to school here etc - most of my friends are through work, I met a lot of nice people over the years.

I know my life sounds stressful but I love it. It is 100 times better than living with shit partner of the sort I had.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · Today 09:59

Oldfailed · 16/05/2026 00:59

Im 46.
None of my local friends (those I have known a few years) are single. The single mums i mentioned in my post are all school parents i have come to know recently- and there doesn't seem to be much overlap in our interests except for the divorce stat.

Many of the married friends who live close to me come across as little smug , or at least insensitive to the fact that as a single parent with nearly 90% custody, my challenges and what i prioritize may be different from them. For e.g., one of them told me my life wasnt so different from hers since her banker husband is away 10% of the time and she also has to "solo parent".

I moved to the UK about 20 years ago so I also don't have uni friends in close proximity. It just makes life very hard - always having to be the financial provider, the care giver and problem solver. Dont know how long I can go on like this. It's relentless. But I am often told by said friends that since I made the decision to marry my ex husband (who turned out to be an idiot and abusive), I have to bear the consequences.

That last line is disgusting please bin the friend who said that, we don’t marry people knowing they are abusive they usually become bad when we are pregnant- mine did.

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