Struggling with a break up

[CoralGraceRow]

Just over a week ago me and my DP separated. It had been a long time coming, and deep down I think I know it is for the best. But my god am I struggling. Really deeply struggling. Life has gone on hold, I’m finding it hard to go NC and I want my old life back for the comfort and to ease the loneliness. Plus love is still there. I never wanted the relationship to end, but the way I was being treated was not ok and despite my attempts nothing changed. I’m not sure what I’m looking for, I know I need to go NC, I know it will get easier, but the thought of being alone and dating again (eventually!)/letting someone else in is filling me with dread. I want a hug and to have the company of my ex and to easy this awful loneliness. Any advice?

Yes and very up and down, cold, argumentative at times. I’ve tonight said that’s it, no more texts. I just hope that I’m strong enough to stick to it! I know I will be eventually but it’s a hard ‘habit’ to break right now! The yoga class sounds like a good step. I’ve been searching for something new, somewhere to meet new people but just don’t know what I want to throw myself into yet!

Needed to hear this today…

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/18kXXrFQwh/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Hope everyone’s managing well? I’m currently a day and a half NC. Yesterday felt quite easy, today is proving a bit tougher but not caving yet!

If you lived together, I’d focus on small steps to sort who is going to live in the house longer term

Logistics are sorted, I’m staying put but reminders are everywhere aren’t they. I need to spend less time on my phone and less time alone watching TV, but I’m also mindful it’s very new and quite raw so trying to also be a bit gentle with myself at the same time. Writing it all down is helpful at the minute so I’m doing a lot of that daily. That and making plans so I have to leave the house because I’m on AL this week and my routine goes to shit anyway but with this too it’s all over the place!

We've talked over the last two days and are going to give it another go. But the few days apart and how they made me spiral have been a wake up call for me. I need to change my mindset and create some new things to focus on so that I'd it doesn't work out then I'm not just totally crushed.
@CoralGraceRow well done on the no contact. It's so so hard. You are doing the right thing by being gentle on yourself. It's such a gut wrenching process. Because your mind bounces from thinking you'll be OK to not thinking you will. Being sure it's the right thing and then not.
Giving yourself time away from him will bring you the certainty you need, whichever way that ends up being.
Like you've said before finding new things you enjoy will really help. I think that's actually vital whether you are with someone or not. Esp if you both have different levels of need from a relationship. I've realised that I need more for just me. More of a life outside of the relationship, so that I can function better for myself.
I'll be thinking of you, will be around if you need to chat and still check in of that's OK?