AIBU to be so sad at how my P is handling possible miscarriage?
I’ve had a really rocky fertility experience. Only diagnosed in recent years but I have suffered with dreadful periods since I was a teen. I was only taken seriously by hospital consultants when I couldn’t get pregnant. At which time I was told it was so bad that I wouldn’t have children with my own eggs.
By some miracle, my DC was conceived through IVF, and by another miracle, we have a second DC.
A couple of weeks ago I started my period. Although I suffer with heavy and painful periods it was heavier than usual and didn’t stop. After about 10 days, it finally occurred to me to rule out a pregnancy. I was in no way expecting a positive result when I’d been bleeding so heavily.
When the test was positive I was in a state of shock. My P got on with making dinner.
We found out on Tuesday evening and so far, he hasn’t once asked me how I am or asked for an update on the bleeding. I have been to the EPAU to rule out an ectopic pregnancy, and he said he was pleased that the sac is in the right place and that we have been able to conceive naturally even if it doesn’t work out.
On Wednesday, as I was getting changed for bed, he was looking at my boobs. I asked him to stop, and he said he was looking at the skin. I asked what he meant, and he said he was ‘shocked’. I’ve lost a lot of weight recently (currently underweight) and have been continuously breastfeeding for almost 4 years now. Yes my breasts have taken a hit. I just couldn’t believe he said that to me 1) at all 2) while I’m actively waiting to find out if I’ve lost a pregnancy?!
Last night, he was on the phone telling someone how excited he was about an unrelated trip next week. I can’t get excited about anything while I’m stuck in this state of limbo.
This evening, while he was meant to be supervising the DC, he has allowed them to rip apart the pregnancy tests I had been taking each day to track if my HCG is on the up or down. I’m certain he will have been scrolling on his phone instead of watching them. Another precious item which isn’t a toy has also been broken.
AIBU? If it were the other way round, I would be so worried and asking how things had been each day. I can’t comprehend that he doesn’t know, and doesn’t seem to want to know, what is happening. It’s making me feel so sad.
My pregnancy tests being destroyed just feels like another example of him not caring. I’m waiting for another scan as I’m still bleeding and the viability of the pregnancy couldn’t be confirmed. So feeling very emotional and in the middle of an anxious wait. I could really do with his support.