Therapy the answer for everything?

[TherapyTherapy]

I was speaking to someone about FWB and I said it’s not really something I would do because I get feelings for people quite easily and in the past when I’ve had them I always got feelings but it was never ever reciprocated, so not something I’d be doing again. They said I needed therapy to work out why I get feelings for people “so easily”. Am I wrong to think I don’t need therapy for this? I wouldn’t say I get feelings for people so easily however If I’m sleeping with someone I like and fancy (as I wouldn’t sleep with anyone I didn’t like) and the sex is good then yes I’m going to get feelings! I think some people just attach more emotions to sex than others. I didn’t think that was particularly unusual as a woman to feel that way but apparently it is and I need therapy to work out why. I know some women absolutely can do this but I’m not sure if I would want to be like that and be able to sleep with someone regularly and not feel anything and just be completely disconnected. Do I need therapy? Feels like therapy is suggested for everything.

As i understood it women needing affection and feelings to enjoy sex with someone is the default position of the female psyche. Whereas men's psyche allows them very much able to enjoy sex without any feelings for their sexual partner.

Of course there are exceptions to this and some women Canadian do have clinical sex and enjoy it.

But I agree OP i don't see why you need therapy for this.

And I agree therapy can be helpful but the way it is bandied about as the cure all solution to virtually everything is ridiculous.

I think maybe your friend interpreted what you said as not knowing why you are like this / that it bothers you somewhat. If it did then yeah maybe therapy could be an idea, as it's just about understanding yourself better, but I don't think 'need' is quite right. From what you say though it doesn't get in the way or upset you it's just a fact.

I'm in weekly therapy and it's been huge for me but that's because i'm talking about neglect and things that I want to change about myself. But I don't think it sounds like you need it or want it which is totally ok!

Who said it?

The source is important. If a shifty ex, then little weight. If a good friend who has your interests at heart, then maybe they're seeing something you're not.

no it doesn’t bother me I just know not to do them and I’m fine with that

It was someone online so not a friend it was a discussion on fwb and I just said they are not for me due to past experiences (getting feelings and it not being reciprocated)