Help understanding

[Leana44]

I’ve been with my partner for nearly 2 years.
we were in bed getting intimate and I caught a glance of his google device and I saw a photo of a woman on there. Ah was taking a selfie in the mirror but I couldn’t see her face. I asked him about it and he said he didn’t know who it was.
I got dressed and was ready to leave and he told me her name and where she lived. I asked if she was a friend why would she send a photo like that.
anyway as I was leaving I said to him that I was very upset and I felt like he didn’t need me.
he had a photo of this woman and his ex wife organised help for him when he was ill and he never took me up on it.
I didn’t hear from him in 2 days and then he tells me he’s upset with my reaction and that he explained who this person was !
he does this all the time if he’s upset about something he ignores me for a day or two

The way you describe what you are upset about, It’s not clear to me whether you have agreed with this man to be in an exclusive relationship?

Yes and we’ve been together 2 years. He told me it was a photo from 5 years ago

I don’t understand what you mean by “he had a photo of this woman and his ex wife organised help for him when he was ill and he never took me up on it”

it doesn’t make sense

That aside,

Well I mean if it was a photo from 5 years ago, why does he still have it and why was he looking at it right before you guys were intimate?

anyway, all aside…it seems a bit like you’re mad about the sprinkles on the icing of the whole massive cake. This guy ignores you for days when he is upset about something AND plays the victim reverse uno card when he does something hurtful to you. He’s not capable of a healthy relationship.

Why would you want to be with some dick who pulls the “I’m upset about your angry reaction to me hurting you” nonsense. That’s never going to be healthy because he’s a manipulative prick.

Block his number and move on with your life. He’s not ever going to be a decent person.

I think she is trying to enumerate two pieces of evidence in support of her feeling that he does not need her:

• he has photos of another woman, not her.
• it was his ex wife, not her, that organised help for him.

@Leana44 You’re right, he doesn’t need you. And you don’t need him either.

Just for clarity op. If I stamp on your toe and you go “ouch, that hurts” and I go “you’re overreacting, it didn’t mean anything, and how dare you be mad at me?”, that would make me a massive bellend.

Discovering a dodgy pic on his phone during sex is of course going to be upsetting for you. He knows this. Everybody knows this. And if the picture was innocent and he was looking at it for an innocent reason, his goal should still have been to apologise for causing you that pain and he should have felt awful that he had caused you hurt. Because that’s the normal response we have as decent empathetic human beings who care when we hurt others.

So if that reaction is not there then this person is dysfunctional and frankly, contemptuous of you. They are not a safe person. They aren’t even a sane person.
And you need to get and stay, far away from anyone like that.

He stood on your toe. He’s not sorry. He’d do it again. And he’ll even find a way to make you the bad guy when he does. Run.