What’s your social life like in your mid 40s?

[greensuitcase]

I wonder what social life is like for other people in their mid 40s. We moved areas (big city to more rural) when our DC was a toddler (now age 8) and while we have met people locally (mainly through our child) and make an effort socially, when I hear about a dinner party here or there I sometimes wonder whether everyone else is constantly seeing friends, hosting/attending BBQs, going on weekends away etc. we have done these things - hosted and attended - but it’s not as regularly as I’m imagining others do. Currently most of our socialising is done in the daytime/early evening (which is my preference given how knackered I am every day - but I get fomo when I hear about adult evening plans!). both me and DH have good “old” friends but they’re mostly scattered around the world now so we see them very occasionally.

How often do people genuinely socialise at this stage of life? Also interested in experiences of those with older kids and whether it changes as they grow independent and how that impacts friendships that exist due to the child. Do you have close (relatively new) friendship groups nearby? If so what helped nurture this? and do you go away with local friends or is most of it occasional catch ups?

I think perimenopause has made me more sensitive to feeling disconnected this year, so maybe I’m overthinking it.

Very rarely invited to anything and even rarer to actually attend. We’ve just never seemed to make friends with people that do that sort of thing. Our “socialising” is all based around kids sports clubs and matches and community events that we don’t need to be invited to but that we bump into people we know at.

I can see the popular sorts all having their parties and days out together but not us unfortunately! Kind of given up trying on that one now tbh.

I would socialise a lot but never as a couple. DP has 0 interest so I leave him to it. It has the advantage of him being with DC at night. I am always open to friendships though. I made one good friend at my DDs swim class. Sometimes it just doesn't work though: I made a big effort with tbe school moms and it's been great but honestly, when the kids get older I can't see us ever meeting up.

I go out for the evening with friends maybe once or twice a month and get to go out with my dh in the evening maybe half a dozen times a year. At the weekend we usually socialise with our families or friends / kids’ friends’ families in the afternoon and then home by the evening.

I’m largely happy with the level of socialising I get but I wish I had more evenings out with my dh. Usually when we manage to get childcare it might be for a fixed date like a party or something that’s a group thing. Occasionally we’ll go see a band on our own. We would struggle to get childcare for something more simple like dinner or the cinema. I’m jealous of friends who get lots of free childcare from family.

I have friends who are out every weekend and part of me is jealous and the other part exhausted at the thought. I socialise once a month on average. Big nights are just a handful a year. I love dh’s company so I quite like our evenings