Does anyone else feel their partner always has to have it worse

[Honeysucklelane]

Anyone else not ‘allowed’ to have a shitty crap time because their DH always has it worse?

Or if you are in an over tired / upset : angry mood due to external stuff (work and life pressures) he behaves like a total jerk and just brings you even further down?

I’m honestly not often like this. I’m just cracking up recently because I’ve taken on too much, and there’s been added kidadmin / medical dramas over the past week and I am at melt down point.

My DH cannot cope with me not being my usual cheery self and becomes a complete jerk. We were about to pop out earlier when one DS came home and was excitedly showing me some stuff. DH was really rude rushing me and making comments even though there was no rush to go out and I’ve been hanging around all afternoon whilst football was on.

I had an ex like that. I was once very ill in A&E and he decided that he needed to be seen too and went and booked himself in at the reception desk... because he had a headache. The triage team gave him short shrift and told him to take some paracetamol and piss off.

How does your DH respond if you raise this behaviour with him?

No one can be as tired as him or have a harder work day than him!!

Well today after I told him he’d been rude and impatient, and had acted like he was almost jealous I was giving DS 5 minutes of my attention, and he could have waited and carried on chatting to our other DS, he said, “but I had my shoes on and we were going for a walk.”

We had a big row on the walk, turned round and came home, and after dinner he sulked off to bed early without saying anything. 🙄If I pull him up on bad behaviour I’m punished for it with the silent / sulking treatment.

I used to work with a guy like that. FGS, whatever had happened to you, he had it worse, wore the T shirt and made a film about it. If you had even died he would have beat you to the pearly gates. Total attention seekers, sorry you have to deal with it. In fact don't deal with it, split, life's too short.

Not an ex but my dad is like this, not just with himself but my half brothers or my stepmum. I was in and out of hospital with asthma but my brother had it worse (never hospitalised). My thyroid is under active but he has it worse because his doesn’t work at all.ive been on high dose steroids for years but my stepmum has it worse taking 1mg a day & i ought to be thankful I get to take more. I’ll stub my toe he’ll reminisce about nearly having his foot amputated after a game of football (he didn’t).

I turn it into a game and see what ridiculous things he can have worse but he cottoned on to me and did pull it back a bit for a while.

My ex was like this. I was 3 days in labour and he F off to a party, stayed out all night and fell asleep on the hospital chair saying he was tired. Ex for a reason, babes.

I’m like this sometimes, it’s literally just that dh calls it ahead of me- so he comes home saying he has the worst headache and in my head I’m like ‘shit, I have a headache, now I can’t say anything!’ Then I end up blurting it out and bitching about how awful mine is!! It’s also happened with colds, being tired, and yes he’s bitched about his day at work when I had an awful day too!!!

Yes, I was married to one. At one point, I had chronic, unexplained pain and was waiting for investigative surgery. On loads of painkillers, could barely walk, couldn’t sleep. I kept track and he moaned every day for 2 months about feeling ill until the day of my surgery! He was also extremely resentful when I had an accident and he had to step up around the home. Didn’t acknowledge what I usually did, only how much more he had to do. At one point genuinely said I was ‘sat on my arse all day’ (yip I broke my leg!). We divorced in the end. Every single day for 4 years now I have thought I’m so glad he’s not my husband any more!

DH is never ill. It’s more than no one else is as tired as him or can have a bad work day, because he has it worse. I feel like I cannot have the time or space to have a bad time because instead of being supportive, he’s reactive, behaves badly and makes it all so much worse and then sulks if I pull him
up about it.