Am I regretting the break up or just nostalgic?

[didlu]

I left my partner of 12 years 6 months ago, we have 2 young children. I left because he was emotionally unavailable and I often felt lonely and like I was living with a roommate. The sex wasn’t great either.

I’ve recently been feeling like I want to go back, like I want the life we had together with our children.

Is this normal to feel this way? Should I just try to plough through it and carry on, or should I make my feelings known and see if it can be fixed? I worry I’ll feel the same again in the relationship. The separation was heartbreaking for everyone and I don’t want to have to do that again.

Completely normal. It's still very early days post-break up. You will be up and down about it. It doesn't mean you made a mistake.

Well you will feel the same again in the relationship. He is who he is and you are who you are. If you want to return to how you felt before, then ask him if he wants to get back together.

If you don’t want to feel like that again, then continue through this period of adjustment.

This is normal and everyone goes through various stages when processing a breakup. It doesn’t mean that you want him back, just that you need a bit longer to move forward.
Stay strong and don’t try to go back or you’ll have to start again at square one.

It doesn't necessarily mean you've made a mistake but you have young children so I imagine you did a lot of soul searching before coming to this decision. It's certainly hard managing on your own and navigating co-parenting.

How do you think things would be different if you got back together? Do you think your ex is willing to really work at the relationship and change? You don't want to go back for more of the same loneliness and feeling disconnected. There would have to be a real commitment from you both to work st the relationship. If you leaving wasn't enough to get him to make an effort, can you really see him changing?

I think you are mourning the loss of your family unit, not your partner.

This is standard at the end of a long relationship, you just need to ride it out

It could also be because neither of you gave it a chance, its easy to fall into 'housemate' status - to not put each other first and things like sex become mundane.

Talk about it to them - say how you feel, that you are thinking you may want to see if it could be different BUT, you both need to be invested and prepared to change. ie. for him to become more emotionally available. Counselling would help here. Worst case is that it doesnt work but you know that you have exhausted it, and that it is finally done. Best case is you both improve as people and find love again.