My partner is childish when I need emotional maturity

[Fedup360]

My partner and I are getting married this year but his immaturity is pissing me off. I’ve just gone on the pill so maybe my hormones are a bit jolted at the moment but I’ve been feeling quite alone lately, he’s been having a stressful time at work and our littlest is being a bit of a handful at the moment so there’s stress, and then there’s the stress of paying for the wedding which is getting to both of us, but last night I voiced how I was feeling and at first he said something to the effect of “you know I love you you’re my finaceee” but he said it in the voice of mater from cars (immature) we can both me silly at times but when someone is pouring their heart out it’s not really the time is it? And then when I said I’m being serious he said, “its mater c’mon that’s funny” and then farted. By that point I’ve had enough and just rolled over and went to sleep and he sat watching tv in bed and didn’t say another word.

this morning I got up got ready and didn’t say a word, when I went downstairs he was sorting the kids and said “are you still in a mood with me?” I said I have nothing to say about it, and before he left he kissed me and said I’m sorry I was a dick last night I love you.

I text him and said a kiss and a sorry isn’t enough to brush over it, I’m really hurt that I can tell you how I’m feeling unloved and unappreciated and you think a kids movie quote and a fart is an appropriate response?

We’ve been together 8 years and we get on really well 99% of the time but he’s wound me up, and I know this sounds like a joke, I wish it was.

have I been to harsh or does he need to grow up?

I don't think I could accept that in a relationship if that's how it always is.

Maybe a little harsh - this is clearly who he is and you can't change people.

It's sad that you're stressed about paying for your wedding though - is that something you can do anything about - cut costs anywhere?

I agree, we are both silly at times. But last night I was needing some reassurance and a cuddle. Not a fart 🥲

I did cross some things off the list yesterday, took the remaining cost from 5.5k to around 3k so it took the pressure off and he said “I don’t want a half arsed wedding” I said I want to be able to enjoy life in the meantime and not put every penny into the wedding, we will make it work we always do but it is a bit of a stress

Oh I sympathise OP - I would totally hate the farting thing, and it is really horrible when you're pouring your heart out, and he's goofing around.
At least he admitted he was being a dick though - but you feel he doesn't take you seriously, maybe? I don't think you can instil emotional maturity into people, sadly - and I definitely think some men are just incapable of it and just make a joke of everything.
Glad you've managed to cut back some of the wedding costs.

It's not just immaturity. It's a very strategic way to avoid discussing a subject he doesn't want to talk about. He thinks he can disarm or distract you by being cutesy or silly, and he knows that. I hope you don't have to put up with that too often.

I couldn't be with someone like that. You've already got DC you don't need a grown man acting like a child.

He actually sounds quite manipulative.

What would happen if you tried to have this conversation with him again?

Or do you just tend to give up/withdraw when you try to express how you feel and you're met with similar behaviour?

I agree with this