Am I wrong to feel let down by my partner's lack of support?

[Zaraaddict]

I lost my mum in December she was killed in A hit and run
I’ve been looking after my dad since then which has been so sad and stressful as he’s lost the love of his life and has been angry and not so nice to be around
ive also got heart problems and just found out I have heart failure which has obviously given me more worry
I have been with my partner for nearly 3 years and he hasn’t really supported me .. and has no idea how this affects me ( well he does but tells me to take one day at a time )
I have no time to myself as my dad won’t have carers in his home and my brother has my dad every couple of weeks but won’t be tied down to days times etc
my brother offered to have my dad this week so I told my partner we could get away at the weekend .. he said he was going to the match on Saturday and he wasn’t changing his mind

I never ask him to miss anything or complain about what he does
I was so angry I asked him to leave as he did I hit him on his back and the cup of tea I had in my hand flew out my hand and went over his back
am I wrong to be annoyed and upset
we haven’t spoken since
I think because he wants me to look the wrong one ..
I think all I’ve got going on is too much maybe
I know I shouldn’t raise my hand but I was so upset and let down 😕

Sorry I’m confused, you hit him in the back and your hot cup of tea went all over his back?

Was this intentional?

I had tea in one Hand and thumped him in back with the other it’ sort of slopped out of cup on to his back .. I was that angry I forgot I had hold of it

Why on earth did you ask him to leave and then hit him? I’m not sure if you’ve explained it badly but as I understand it I think you were very much in the wrong even if you are feeling frustrated and unsupported.

I wouldn’t speak to you if you hit me either

He leaves everytime I’m struggling
I think I’ve just had enough so I asked him to leave ..

Looks like he's an ex partner now.

You are in the wrong to have hit him and scalded his back with hot tea! He may or may not have been supportive and you would have legitimate grounds to be upset if he has been unsupportive, but that appears to have been overtaken by events. If my partner behaved with me like you have with yours, he would definitely be an ex.

There's no excuse to use violence at all.

How can you think you get to be the one who is angry and upset here?

You seem to be have reached your coping skills but it's not OK to hit someone and anger isn't an excuse. You need to take some accountability.

What do you want your partner to do? Other than give up this weekend, which if he has a football team playing end of season it's understandable.

The issue with your dad requires practical solutions, such as carers or respite care. Try to come up with a plan..sometimes you may have to priortise your needs over your dad. If he can't be left alone then he needs carers or go to live in a care home.

Not OK for you to thump him. Not under any circumstances at all.

Also, I don't really think it's OK for you to martyr yourself constantly looking after your Dad. Set healthy boundaries as your brother has.

I understand it's a sad and stressful time, but you are making bad choices and acting appallingly. You need to sort yourself out. I'd suggest some grief counselling would be a good start, alongside limiting visits to your Dad to once or twice a week to give yourself space to grieve.