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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What do I do

6 replies

Pinkelephant2025 · 06/05/2026 16:20

This is ridiculous and I know the answer but feel I have no one to talk to. I’ve had an argument with my partner who is the father of our 2 year old. It’s long explaining the argument but ended with him saying he thinks I will mess up our daughters life as she grows because I am ‘too soft and will let her do whatever she wants’ and he wants me to give her up and his mum have her (they live together) and he sees her when he’s not working and I see our child once every few weeks. He came out with a bunch of nasty things and said to me that my dad who has passed is better off dead as he would’ve lived life disappointing in having a daughter like me and him getting cancer was a blessing and he hopes that cancer hurt my dad. This is disgusting. He said before he left ‘are we done, cos I don’t want to be done I love you’ he didn’t apologise for what he had said. I said I don’t want to talk anymore just leave and now I feel upset about everything and I know I should leave him but no matter whatever he does or says I seem to go back I can’t understand why this is.

What would you do? Do I reach out to someone to talk to? I feel numb. It’s always constant critism of my parenting and calling me names and dragging me down

OP posts:
tryingtobesogood · 06/05/2026 16:21

Please stay away from this horrible person. Do you have somewhere safe to stay with your daughter?

Pinkelephant2025 · 06/05/2026 16:26

@tryingtobesogood
I’m safe I have my own place he has left now and I don’t plan to contact him although he will reach out to know when he’s having our daughter. He will say that he didn’t mean anything he said like he has said plenty of times but it just crosses the line doesn’t it it’s vile what has been said but he can’t understand that and just blames me

OP posts:
tryingtobesogood · 06/05/2026 16:33

Do you have support, someone who can help you to set boundaries? This is a truly evil person who wants to destroy you and take your child away.

DinoLil · 06/05/2026 16:35

He and his mother sound toxic.

If you haven't already, put in a claim for CMS. You may also need a court order.

I'm assuming he has no reason for custody (unless you are homeless, a drug user, alcoholic), sorry if that sounds harsh but I don't know you.

He sounds like he has no value to offer to you and your child. I mean emotionally, but he does have to contribute financially. You need to keep yourselves safe.

You are worth more. So is your child. Dont be bullied, go down the legal route. Citizens Advice might be a good place to start or even Social Services.

Sunisgettinganewhaton · 06/05/2026 16:38

Please seek legal advice ASAP to get a Lives With order for your dd. He is capable of taking her and not bringing her home isn't he? Police won't intervene unless you have a court order in your favour. Has dd got a passport? Is he on the BC?

AlwaysLookOnTheBrightSideOfLife · 06/05/2026 16:44

Have you posted about ex and his DM wanting custody before?

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