Marriage feels strained and husband refuses counselling or communication

[Whattodo127845]

Honestly don't know what to do with our marriage. Been together for 10 years, married for 7. DH has three other children and we have one DS5 together.

The relationship is so strained. DH doesn't appreciate the things I do for the family. He doesn't want to communicate when I try to raise issues, I get the classic I'm 'nagging' or simply tells me to 'shhh'.

This absolutely makes my blood boil. He brings out the worse in me. I'm afraid to say I have thrown things as I'm lost my temper (I'm completely in the wrong here).

He will get right in my face to provoke a reaction then play the victim when he gets a reaction. Thankfully this doesn't occur in front of DS.

When I say we need help, he refuses to acknowledge it. Refuses to speak with a counsellor and would rather 'walk away again' then try and fix things.

He can be a good man. Everyone loves him, he's polite, helpful and friendly however seems to take things out on me. I believe he resents the fact I earn more money than he does however I forever pay for holidays, meals outs etc so he benefits.

He is a great Dad and I would hate to split up our family. I don't want to split up but I'd like things to improve and I just don't know how to when he doesn't seem interested in trying to improve things.

He lives in mine and he rents his out. He fully benefits from the rent from his and pays towards the bills at mine but not the mortgage.

Life is much better being poor than having to deal with horrible men like this on a daily basis

His salary is fine but a third of mine. I think roughly 30% is paid in maintainace plus 50% of all extras.

Zero savings.

Pays 50/50 for the bills.

Oldest is 20 but he has kept the same payments as she lives at home but has a full time job. I try not to get involved in his money.

This is the difficulty as he isn't horrible daily. Sometimes he can be fun, supportive, kind but these other things just don't go away.

As I said he sees youngest from Friday afternoon until Sunday evening. Even if they lived with us, you'd rarely be seen in the evenings during the week due to hobbies/being in room.

He has always provided financially for them all. Whenever they ask for something, they get it. Even if he can't afford it.

He sees the oldest on Friday and Sunday and will often take them for coffee/dinner/dog walk etc.

The being horrible isn't negated by when he's ok though. Nobody is awful all the time. Just my 2 cents from experience. You get one life.