Just a quick vent - OH belittling comments

[Ohmygods]

I've commented here previously then thought about it and realised I wasn't being balanced however, this morning OH had to drive adult child to work at short notice v early . OH not a morning person. He was scrambling to find a tea shirt so I said " they are hung up" he started mocking me sort of under his breath repeating what I said in a funny voice. I told him I could hear and wasn't impressed. I stomped of to work early. I was thinking about other occasions he has done thus such as when I found door was left unlocked . I pointed out he hadnt locked it and that he went mad when I did the same and he said that was alright if he did it because " he knew what he was doing " implication that i didnt . We have been together forever and both about to retire but it's got me down a bit. I don't ( I hope) belittle him, been quite proud of his late life career change. I meanwhile had career change at 30 , with little/no appropriate qualifications for my role have become high earner/respected in my field so I'm not dumb. Im slightly worried as perhaps taking things out of context. Just wanted to vent.

Men and their egos are just ridiculous. How dare you try to be helpful and intimate he may be occasionally forgetful!

I just looked at your other thread again OP. I actually remember it because of the really nasty comment he made to you that prompted you to start that one. He has a habit of undermining you and being really unpleasant.

I really think you should reread the advice you got on that thread because honestly OP things aren't going to get any better. He is not going to have a miraculous personality change and you are not suddenly going to have a happy marriage.

When a grown man who is nearing retirement age cannot find his own clothes then it's time to leave him. That is absolutely ick inducing.

Sorry, I got sidetracked. If he constantly belittles you then it will only get worse as time goes on, he won't stop. You want another twenty years of this life or do you want some happiness and a peaceful life?

He doesn’t like you OP. Why you are with him?

I don't know what to think about these replies. Do you guys never have a bad word with your partners? This is a genuine question (mentioned as this query looks a bit passive aggressive when i re read it)

Of course people have cross words with their partners. Few people put on funny voices to mock them though . That is juvenile. A grown man doing that would turn my stomach. As ridiculous as it makes him look it also demonstrates contempt for you.

Your uncertainty about whether his behaviour is ok or not suggests it has been going on for so long you have become conditioned to it and lost sight of your own worth even though you have had a successful career. That seems almost irrelevant as if only his opinion of you counts.

I think it’s a type of brainwashing and it is probably going to take a lot of posting, better still some counselling for you to get to the point where you can look at his behaviour objectively

If he committed as much energy to adulting, he wouldn't need to belittle you.

You can have disagreements with a partner without being nasty to them.

You complained of him belittling you.

You complained of him mocking you repeating your words in a funny voice.

That is not the same as having a bad word OP. And you know that otherwise you wouldn't have posted.

My current husband is a strange man ( or maybe just normal as I only have an abusive first marriage to base off ) but he has never once called me anything rude mean etc seriously or raised voice or mocked. I still feel fully respected and loved even if we have disagreement. The mocking to me would translate to contempt to be honest

I think last time you had a chat told him how you felt and he made some changes?
Well, that was a flash in the pan.
We can all have disagreements but someone mimicking you is about contempt. It is not about a difference of opinion it is about demeaning you and making you feel small.
It’s not love it is contempt, and that is the one thing that really corrodes a marriage.
I very much doubt he’s going to change. You’ve been together forever, he has had to pay no price for his attitude, so he will keep doing it.
Someone who likes you doesn’t mimic you sarcastically - if a friend did it, you would not tolerate it.
It really is up to you OP. If you stay with his man, you will both retire and he will no doubt get worse. You will end up being one of those woman who slowly turn into shadows.
Or you can think - right, I’ve got a good couple of decades left, fingers crossed, I am not going to live them being treated like shit. I’m going to live in a smaller home, in peace, and I’m going to live a little. My house, my rules, and I don’t have to tolerate being spoken to like dirt.
Men like this get even worse when they retire and plain old nasty when they age further.
Is this what you want for the rest of your life? Only you can decide.

So why a post then if not for answers to his behaviour

hes belittling and mocking you
he stops when it’s pointed out but then starts again

so what do you want, to vent or to do something about it

Have you never ripped into him with a vengeance. I think you might both find it edifying.

I have actually, I’m no saint and have said mean things in the past that I now regret.