Were you neglected or abused as a child and if so, have you found a way to "forgive" and have relationships with your parents?
I'm feeling in a reflective mood and it's something I often think about. As a child from the ages of about 9-17 my mother was horrid to her children. Especially me, because I reminded her of my dad, who had recently left her because of her drinking and horrible abusive behaviour. She hated me so much and would telle every day how ugly and fat I was, just like my dad. She would get drunk and throw things at me, push me down the stairs, kick me while I was on the floor, pull my hair. She held a pillow over my face once and even used to force me to eat massive plates of food to "prove" that I was a fat piece of shi*t. She would do other things too but these are the things that stand out the most to me.
She was an alcoholic and always had money for drink and cigs, but we used to sit in the dark, and eat tins of beans, cold from the can cos we had no electric while she would be good knows where. I had older siblings and they left home years ago, they have no relationship with our mother either. I had younger siblings too, but one of them died aged 8 and the abuse from my mother only became more abhorrent. Even blaming me for his death.
I've not spoken to my mother for well over 10 years. We live in the same small town but somehow I've managed to avoid her, up until today, when I drove passed her. Instantly, I started sweating, shaking, I felt sick, and started crying..not from fear but I guess just anxiety??
She ruined my life and I suffer with a variety of mental illness now, including debilitating anxiety and OCD.
Sometimes I think I can forgive her, she's still my mum and I felt sadness when I saw her and she looked old and lonely and sad.
Had anyone else been neglected like this as a child and actually overcame it and had a relationship again with their parents??