Am I gay?!

[Ohifonlylifewaseasy]

I think I might be gay but I’m also not sure.

I'm 39, have only ever been with men. I have always been curious about women but have never approached it.
I can appreciate a good looking man but at the same time there are many women who I think are stunning.
I have never been able to finish whilst being intimate with a man, no matter what they do but I am able to on my own and I always watch girl on girl. I am massively interested in shows like The L word and do get turned on by them.
I seem to enjoy the process of talking to a man and getting them to like me but I’ve never been able to truly be happy in a relationship, I struggle with affection and commitment. I have enjoyed being intimate with men in the past but now I think it’s because I enjoyed seeing how I pleased them, I barely let them touch me because it just didn’t do anything for me and regularly faked it so that it would be over.

Im so confused.

I don’t have any gay friends or anyone I can talk to about this, I wouldn’t know where to start with meeting someone and at the same time would want it to feel natural and not like a test.

Has anyone else got later in life and realised they may be gay?

Yes, I’ve had two long term relationships and a few short term. Each time it ended I just thought maybe I keep going for the wrong types but now I’m thinking maybe it’s me!

❤️

Seriously, could be fun just to explore and find out? No harm in getting out there and having fun discovering yourself

Maybe get on a dating app, would be the easiest way to meet women

Have you kissed a girl? Did you like it?

Maybe. Sexuality isn’t so black and white. It’s a lot more complex than that even for those of us happily in long term heterosexual relationships. No reason not to explore it as you’re single and meeting people.

It sounds like an itch that you're going to have to scratch OP.

I've had bi curious partners in the past and they had to know whether they were more than just curious.

They went on dating sites and went on dates until they found the right one. perhaps that's an option for you.

I could have written this!

I'm 38, have never had a relationship with a woman, nor has it ever crossed my mind. I find flirting with men natural and want them to notice me and interact with me but when I think about it, I rarely find them physically attractive - I just tend to pursue the ones that I'm not unattracted to (if that makes sense!)

Recently one particular woman has become lodged in my thoughts and when I think about it, I'm the same as you - only ever watch girl on girl. I find womens bodies beautiful and mens just a bit odd. Which sounds straight forward but I still can't imagine myself ever being in a relationship with a woman!

Sounds like something you need to explore. Only you can find out what makes you happy.

Exactly the same! 😂
I find loads of women on tv attractive but rarely any when I’m out and about. There’s one who I know through a friend and she’s straight but I find her beautiful.
The thought of meeting a woman and going on dates terrifies me!

You asked are you gay. Honestly, from your description, very probably yes. Get on a dating app. Or check out meet up groups for lesbians/bi women. Lots of people find people on the tv attractive they’re actors, many of them are ridiculously attractive. Of course you’re going to fancy less women IRL, but you will fancy someone. Initially it can feel scary , like when dipping your toe in the water you’re going to have a big learner sign on your forehead or something. Really, there’s nothing to be scared of, in fact it can be really exciting. What’s more terrifying, I think, is never exploring this and waking up in twenty years thinking oh no.

Trying looking up Skirt Club. It’s a great way to meet other bi-curious women and explore that side of your sexuality in a way which feels supportive.

Do you fantasise about women’s bodies at all?
I do sometimes for a bit of novelty.
Surely you would if yo were gay/bi

Yes I do. I only find girl on girl a turn on and I quite often imagine myself in that situation whilst you know 🤭 and it definitely gets me there..
I found with my most recent ex that it got to the point where I wouldn’t let him touch me because he always wanted me to look him in the eyes and I couldn’t fantasise if I did that. He also liked to try and talk me through it but would use himself as the main part of it and it did nothing for me.