Relationship

[Newdaysmile]

To take something off a grave without permission is this acceptable

Yes. I usually think it something is on a grave it’s there to take/ for free:

Thank you. Can I ask why when you didn't pay for it to go on

Because the person is dead therefore I’d assume whoever put it there wanted a live person to have it.

@Flowersdie I hope you're not serious

If you are the leaseholder then yes you can remove something. I don't think anyone else should be touching anything on a grave.

Are you joking?

Thank you. It was .y sister removed my wreath from me and my family to my dad. She had three things on the grav8

Thank you. It was .y sister removed my wreath from me and my family to my dad. She had three things on the grav8

Was it a fresh wreath?
She wasn’t just tidying up or anything I mean?

You’re kidding! @Flowersdieyou cannot be serious. A friend’s mother was a US Marine and she puts a flag on her grave and it’s always getting stolen. You think someone thinks ‘oh a flag! Must be free for me to have and not a sign of respect and reminder of the sacrifice this dead person made in their life…’ And flowers? Do you see a bouquet and think ‘oh I need that on my table! This may be the dead person’s favourite flower and oh I see it’s their birthday today but they are dead so they must be for me’! I mean it’s disgusting behaviour.

Why would I want a US flag? What a bizarre comment

No it was silk flowers we paid £90 5 months ago.

I didn’t take those @Newdaysmile

Did she throw them away to replace with her own things? If so that's totally wrong and you should confront her. She should've consulted you first.

How long do silk flowers last outside before needing to be replaced? Just wondering if she took them because she thought they were starting to look worn or faded?
(Sorry if this is stupid, I genuinely don’t have any idea how long they last.)

Yes she put them in the dump. Im so annoyed. She has taken over the grave. She has three things on the grave we had one.

Did you ask her why?

And did she say because they’d been rained on for five months and looked scruffy etc?

You’re not giving us much information to go on here OP.

And were they ready for the dump do you think? Or were they still fine in your opinion?

She sounds spiteful and controlling. I wouldn't let her get away with it.

Have you ask her why she threw them away? Could they have been weather damaged at all?

It was me

As long as you don’t put them in water they should be fine for a few weeks, don’t forget it use the food sachet

That’s quite an assumption given the OP is so reluctant to say much.

If this is a joke it is cruel and nasty.
If you are serious then you are justifying stealing.

There are a few messers on this thread OP.

Anyway in my opinion it’s fine for close family members to tidy-up a grave when they visit. Do any weeding necessary, throw out old wilted flowers etc. Again, I’m not certain what the condition of silk flowers would be after 5 months on a grave, but I’m assuming your sister was of the opinion that they were tattered and worn, which is why she put them on the dump.

If they were really in this condition I think it’s fine to do it without asking, although it would have been nice to give you a heads up so you could get something else perhaps. But I’m not sure why you wouldn’t have thrown them out yourself if they were like this. Does she live closer and visit more often maybe?

If they were still in good condition then she clearly shouldn’t have thrown them out. If that’s the case you are right to be annoyed.

You can buy more flowers to put on the grave. I find a pot of geraniums can be fairly hardy and last well. Have a chat with your sister about it.