Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2

Original poster

After 20 years unmarried, can I claim anything from our shared assets?

30 replies

NotMarriedSoStupid · 02/05/2026 20:44

I know, I have been stupid.

Together 20 years, both have one previous child, none together.

I have paid half the mortgage and bills and all the food. I have significantly out earned him over the 20 years. All money shared.

He walked out, well he made me leave. Everything is in his name, I thought I had protected myself through the solicitor but turns out it is all worthless (his solicitor suggested it when I was worried about my situation, I was naive)

Is there anything I can do to fight for what we have built? It is worth a few million and yet I am struggling to pay rent, yet it is my money that allowed this accumulation

If anyone is reading this in a similar situation and isn't married, get married. I am going to lose everything I have worked for unless someone has some idea.

(Ai title but it seems to work)

OP posts:

S0j0urn4r · 11/05/2026 21:00

Can you get legal aid? Is there a law centre in your area?

MandyMotherOfBrian · 11/05/2026 21:05

I thought I had protected myself through the solicitor but turns out it is all worthless (his solicitor suggested it when I was worried about my situation, I was naive)

What do you mean by this? If a solicitor (acting on his behalf) has got you to sign over something/not sign over something - whatever - that you thought was to your benefit but turns out it isn’t, then you may have a claim against them. You would, of course, have to speak to a solicitor of your own to determine that though.

nochance17 · 11/05/2026 21:12

Also if your name was on the bills and council tax get copies of these going back as far as you can.

Alilacat · 11/05/2026 21:57

NotMarriedSoStupid · 11/05/2026 16:45

Do you think I could take this to court without employing a solicitor? Ballpark they have said £30,000 upwards.

I don't have it.

No: you absolutely need a solicitor.

reachoutandtouch · 11/05/2026 22:40

PerryMenopaws · 11/05/2026 17:10

Married to a judge.

Courts are not stupid, if you can show that you were a couple and you paid half the mortgage and bills and all the food then they will understand that and you will get what's rightfully yours.

People don't often end up in court unless one or other is vindictive or there's very large sums involved. If your ex isn't being reasonable then an FDA is where you start.

To do this well you'd need a solicitor. £30k is probably over the top, but £20k is realistic if your ex is being uncooperative.

If you want to, you can start the FDA process yourself. It's an online application and basically a judge listens to you both and helps you reach and agreement. You don't need a barrister, and people can't lie during this process.

If you can't afford to pay a solicitor then actually chatGPT is surprisingly helpful.

Is an FDR possible if unmarried?

Flip

1 2