how long does it take to become an 'ex' wife. Feel mil has been nasty..

[averyquickex]

I have namechanged, as it is quite possible mil comes on here (though unlikely) and I dont want her rooting through my past posts.

a long back story - I left h after he was saying he was seeing someone else, I came back after a week cos he was suicidal (he was then saying he wasnt seeing her, but was just 'wanting to'), we tried for a bit (not sure whether he was, but I was) he left 1 week later anyway. he would never say he was seeing this ow or not, but eventually (about a week ago) he admitted it and said they were going slowly and were only emotionally involved
anyway, this all kicked off 6 weeks ago now. so, we have been split up properly for about 4 weeks.
anyway... after 1 week it would appear that mil reposted all her online photos of me and h together, referring to me as the 'ex-wife' or 'ds's mum', and also moved all her photos from her 'my family' album to the 'more' album. I only noticed this cos someone commented on it to me.
Isnt 1 week a little bit soon? I mean, it is only in the past week or so that h has said he is seeing this woman (tho I know its possible for it to have been going on longer). I dont believe he would have told her anything different, as she has been known to stir in the past (that is an understatement).
It strkes me as odd that she is essentially encouraging h to leave his family (a 16 mo son is involved) and has totally dumped me and ds (I am her main chance of seeing ds, h wont do it)..
so is she being nasty, or is it usual for a mil to write you off after a week?

[BetteNoire]

Upsetting, so ignore, ignore, ignore her.
She sounds heartless and unpleasant.

I'm sorry your DH's family are being so unkind.

Voodoo dolls can be cathartic in situations such as this.

[greenelizabeth]

Wow.....

But nothing surprises me. My own x mil is stupid and a bitch. She hasn't figured out yet that if she stops saying unfounded nasty things about me, to ME!, that we could have a better relationship, which would be more in her interest than mine. I couldn't care less if she hates me, but one would imagine, she'd try to make me like her.

[averyquickex]

can I guess that from your responses, it is a bit quick to refer to me as an ex?

what worries me is that I forgot what an evil, stirring old witch she is, and I bared my heart to her! and Iknow h is relying on her for support as he has noone else. but she really is PURE EVIL.

tbh, the best thing about the break up is that I never ever have to deal with her again (though, as you siad GreenElizabeth, you would think it would be in her interest to be nice to me so she can see ds, but then she ahs only seen him 4 or 5 times since he was born).

Even though I know me and h are over, it would be worth getting back with him JUST to see her reaction..

[ANTagony]

Roe the situation forward 20yrs. Your DS says I'm not with her anymore and you love your DS without question so except it as fact. Well thats what I say to myself. My 2DS were 18mths and 3 when my Ex married 11 yrs suddenly walked out and went to his parents with a new partner in tow!

So insulted they took her in. We hadn't been rowing he refused all discussion just that she was the love of his life. MIL and FIL just accepted it and said they don't want to get involved. Still that was 10months ago and we're divorced now. MIL and FIL are visiting for the 6th time in the last 10months (its a 6hr drive)and they skype weekly with the boys. I have the upper hand, I can show my face in public knowing that I've done the best I can for the boys providing them with an environment of as many loving relatives as possible. What they think - stuff them - how I feel about my behavior is critical.

So in a long winded way yes it is to judgmental and to soon but whats relevant is you and what you want from now on. You're no1 very closely followed by DS at no2 they are somewhere of the bottom of the scale in priority in your life.

Big hugs to you at this difficult time. Time is what you need so many open wounds, no magic solution I've ever come across anyone posting about except posting of course to get it off your chest - its been a life saver at times for me.

[averyquickex]

ANTagony - I can see what you are saying, but mil is actually very dismissive of h. forgot his birthdays, no christmas cards etc etc, so I dont really believe he is THAT important to her. I have even posted on relationships before, asking how I can support h in his awful relationship with his mother.
In fact, if it wasnt for my getting involved, they wouldnt be speaking now anyway. she chucked him out when he was 16, and then threw a party to celebrate! When we got together at 18, he hadnt seen his mum for over a year. Funny thing is, I thought I was helping by getting them talking again.

Just writing this gets it off my chest, and now I can see that she doesnt actually care about h, ds or me, and that she is probably just taking pleasure in shit-stirring.

[sweetgrapes]

The B.I.T.C.H.

Sorry I don't really have anything else to say.

Have a glass of something...
or a cuppa and choccy...

and deep breaths before you talk to her next, that is if you ever do!

[littlewoman]

She sounds like my MIL who wrote us off that quickly, yes. As to whether or not it's normal, I think about my own mum who's lovely. Would she do that? not in a million years. Your MIL is a first grade nit for being so thoughtless at such an awful time for you.

[PollyFlinders]

She sounds like she's being really childish - she'd have to go out of her way to change all those photos around, which is done more out of spite, rather than as an acceptance of the 'natural' flow of events.

She clearly has nothing better to do than try to antagonise you.