"Strangers" Memoir of a Marriage by Belle Burden

[SicilySue]

Sorry if this has already been talked about, I couldn't find anything in a search. I have just come across this book, Strangers by Belle Burden. It was being talked about on Tiktok. It is a true story about the break up of a marriage. I have started listening to it on Audio Books. My marriage broke down nearly 20 years ago so I am over the heartache of what took place. However, I think this book is still helpful in helping understand the callous way many men (and probably women too) act and how we can be blindsided by their actions. I thought the book may help others going through a breakdown or having already been there.

It's a brilliant book! Great read even if you are still married.

Yes a brilliant book, also interesting to see her hour long interview with Oprah about it as well. I’m six years post divorce and found the book gave me a little burst of additional closure that I didn’t know I needed. The things I liked were:

1. The fact that her husband asked her to minimise saying it was mutual, and she didn’t cooperate but was completely honest with everyone.
2. i thought her discussion of the search for answers and how he was never going to be able to supply those was helpful.
3. Her spotlight analogy whereby you focus on you and your recovery (and the children) and leave him in the shadows.

There were so many more good things as well. I just found it really helpful that she and he had had a good family life, idyllic in fact, and he had embraced that until one day he didn’t. She was very good on addressing the myth of the fault being 50:50, and the whole line of it takes two to tango not being the case.

The book is going to be a Netflix film or series starring Gwyneth Paltrow, so her husband’s preference to contain it as a quiet mutual split is not going to be fulfilled!

I’m about halfway through. He’s just bought himself a 2-bed flat (and they have 3 teen kids). 🙄

The pre-nup thing really stuck out—asking her to change it to favour him at the 11th hour to include assets built during the marriage, then discouraging her from working to be a SAHM. I know where this is going…I found myself wanting to scream out loud, “Don’t do it!”

I think she loved him so much and was conscious of protecting his male ego, so she shared her wealth and contacts. It was her contact ( her uncle) who originally helped accelerate his career.
But it seems as if to minimise her grandparent’s and parent’s past successes she shared everything including her pre marital inherited wealth to buy their homes which she lovingly split with him, then he did a dirty act and did not split what was acquired during the marriage. Surely knowledge of this parasitic approach has done his career harm, unless it’s admired as being shrewd of course.
I would love to know what happened to the young married colleague he had an affair with. On line suggests she stayed with her husband and children.