I know im being unreasonable

[user1491677187]

My boyfriend who I don’t live with shares an adult son with an ex partner, who has always been vile to me for no reason, they’d split up long before I was around and I’ve always tried to include the son as much as possible I mean he is in his twenties so has his own life, they shared a dog for the last 11 years shared doggy custody kinda thing, dog is very unwell sadly and is being put to sleep next week, the ex is obviously wanting to spend time with the dog, but she’s spent every day at his house since Wednesday and wants to spend the night (on the sofa!) with the dog. She’s expressed that she doesn’t want me there when the dog is being put to sleep, so I won’t be able to support my partner, I feel very uneasy that she’s spending so much time there & over night I feel like I now have to check if I can go over in case she’s there and I feel like an outsider in my own relationship, I feel awful about the dog of course so I don’t want to bring it up or make an issue out of it, but am I being unreasonable?

It’s a week get over your jealousy, it’s about the dog.

Yes.

I don’t agree you are being unreasonable

she sound alike she has issues that she hasn’t resolved - why be so bothered about ex new partner

and I can understand your unease - but you don’t have to check - jus go over as you would normally

id let them have the dog pts together - your partner will be ok - it’s up to him to say if he needs you there

If a dog’s end has come, they should put it down immediately. Why are they waiting?
This is strange

Very true

Although sometimes it’s ok to have a few days

A week seems like a long time if the poor dog is suffering. But losing a dog is incredibly painful, so i’d try and take a step back, and not try and read more into this than two people who once bought a dog together wanting to spend those last
days with their dog. If his ex goes home, he doesn’t see the dog. Who knows if more to it than that, but my ex adores my dog, and I bought him 6yrs after we split!

She’s not suffering, she’s just old. The vet agreed that next week is a good time to do it. They’d never leave her to suffer

It does sound OP like this is all about the dog

I’d probably ease off - you don’t want make it about you at a time like this - that could bring a wedge between you and partner A I’d avoid that

How long have you been together?

3 years

Today he popped out to see her with the dog he’s been there since 10 am? Surely I’m not still being unreasonable? I’ve not heard a thing from him

OP just leave him and find someone who doesnt have kids or dogs, or any kind of baggage
maybe a virgin would be better for you

Nah yabu, a pet is like a family member, this is bigger than him spending time with his ex who is probably gutted. Just leave them be. There’s no need for you to be at the vets either.

Has there been any signs previously that you don’t think this is actually about the dog? If there hasn’t than yes, unreasonable. If you suspect there’s more to it and this is the latest in a string of situations, less so.

Nothing to do with the dog. Read between the lines!