First kiss help!!!

[spamme]

I feel like a teenager. Been on a couple of dates, and spent lots of time with each other talking at the hobby we met through.

We seem to both be being really cautious about things probably partly because we know if things go wrong it'll be awkward at our hobby..Anyway we haven't kissed yet. If we were both 25 and going out getting pissed I'm sure we'd have a drunken snog at the end of the date before going home together. But it's not like that. But I'm conscious we do actually need to have a snog at some point! And also I'd like to. But daytime dates plus not wanting to kiss in public makes it difficult. I'm starting to feel quite anxious about it. No one wants to see a couple of sober 40-somethings snogging in broad daylight in the middle of the city.

Our next date is in a location between us so it's not like he can walk me home and just pop in - it would have to be a proper invite back to mine and I'm not ready for sex...

So, help. Do we have a kiss in public?! How do I do this. I think I need to be the one to make the move - he's very respectful and I think he actually likes me so will be shy about making the move.

Or do we just not snog until we finally do a sleepover?!

Just kiss him! Why does it matter if it's in public? If you want to do it, do it! Lots of eye contact, lean in, tell him you really want to kiss him and if he doesn't kiss you then...

Only kiss him when you want to. I am not a fan of snogging.

I wouldn't have a problem seeing a 40's something couple having a snog.

I think it would cheer me up, I'm old and past it.

Has there been any physical interaction yet? Have you hugged? Held hands?

I wouldn’t have a third date if I hadn’t kissed him by the end of the second. A good kisser is so important. You don’t want to have to be training someone past the age of 25 and they might be untrainable anyway. And I’ve found the ones that put it off are usually bad at it more often than not. And by then you’re more invested so you think “oh maybe I can move past it”.

Half the people you kiss will be really bad at it. Like not just “nervous becuase it’s a first kiss”, really, really bad. Well…maybe not half but, at least a third. And it’s absolutely indicative that they will be shit in bed and uninterested your pleasure.

Honestly I know it’s not sexy to ask but I would if I needed to, asap. And don’t be tempted to hang around if it’s bad.

Definitely need to have a kiss/ snog asap. It will let you know if it's worth pursuing or not.

I know, I know! Completely agree. I think he's out of practice - just got out of a long marriage.

I've had some bad first kisses turn into much better ones so I'm not going to entirely ditch him if it isn't good. Its just the doing it bit that feels awkward... Maybe I need to focus more on just a kiss rather than full snog.

In answer to another pp - a couple of hello and goodbye polite hugs but that's about it. I'm going to try and escalate on our next date

Booze is a helpful lubricant in such matters - is it out of the question?

Try alcohol

You are thinking far too much about the kiss. You have spiralled into anxiety,
Meet him again and see what happens. You will know when the time is right.