How can I stop ruminating after leaving an emotionally abusive relationship?

[Chrysanthemumgrandiflorum]

I broke up with my partner 2 weeks ago (we were together for 2 years) and I am really struggling to stop ruminating. I didn't want to but I forced myself to because my nervous system was collapsing. Everyone around me including my therapist said he was emotionally abusive and led by coercive control and I had hid a few physical violations from them like him swinging my back and forth for me to come and get it in argument, holding my wrist so tight that i asked him to let it go because it hurts and he didn't and it hurt for a week after (this was when we were in an argument and i said i wanted to leave and we can continue tomorrow, and he was like drumming the bed and telling me that he has given me everything and he can't give me anything else (this was when he got angry because i asked him a question that he misconstrued as as attack). I keep ruminating and trying to remind myself of why I left as the good moments montage comes into my head (alongside being really mean and condescending, he would also be super sweet and thoughtful and tender, it was very confusing). I feel stuck, I keep going through every moment of the relationship and the moment it all started and the moment it escalated. And I keep feeling that I was just not good enough (I believe I am for like an hour or two of the day) but then I sink into this belief that for another woman, he will not raise his voice or say some of the things that he has said to me. I am very confused, I feel a deep sense of betrayal and injustice while at the same time, I doubt myself. I feel like I am going insane trying to make sense of it. I have 71 incidents of him being mean/cruel to me that I journaled about but the predominant voice in my head, more dominant than the voice that says he was harmful to me is saying that it was my fault.

I really loved this man, I poured everything into our relationship and we were planning to get married.

I am in therapy and it has been helping but I just need tips in how to navigate the rollercoaster of the post-separation phase. What can I do to support my healing process? I just feel so sad and betrayed and I strangely miss him. My brain can't comprehend that someone who loves me can also be so mean and I am struggling.

I got divorced from a serial adulterer over 30 years ago, and I always say that Radio 4 was the only thing that kept me sane for my children during the process. I would listen to it on headphones while I was at work, and it stopped me going over and over what had happened so that I was not ruminating over it all the time.
Radio 4 might not be your cup of tea but it gave me stories, plays, news and documentaries to push the negative stuff out of my head and enable me to get on with what I had to do to earn a living and look after my children. These days there are many more sources of distraction available and you can choose your own.
It sounds as though you have done entirely the right thing by breaking up with this violent controlling man and I wish you all the best for your future without him. It is absolutely NOT YOUR FAULT.

I'd just focus on calming your nervous system generally - so meditation or breathing exercises and exercise in addition to your therapy.

Get a meditation app on your phone and try to do it once or twice each day.

Good long walks.

Also find something grounding to keep in your pocket - a pebble for example - and when the thoughts pop up touch it, take a deep breath, say 'it's ok, I'm safe'.

2 weeks is very little time after 2 years of him controlling you. If he meets someone else yes of course he'll be nicer to them at first just as he probably was nice to you at the beginning. Leopards don't change their spots so he'll revert to type.
You've just got used to a pattern, a really bad one. Just remember all of the bad things he did to you.
Try not to go over when it started, you most likely didn't notice it at first as the behaviour would've been gradual.
Like the other poster said, meditation is a good option. Also exercising. Try to aim to make yourself feel good about yourself again. He's worn you down into the ground.
You've done really well getting away from him. Don't waste any more energy thinking about him.You need to get your confidence back.
You're stronger than you think.

Block, delete his number and all
social media and any of his items left behind

2 weeks is no time at all. I don't say this to worry you but I left an abusive relationship nearly a year ago, and I ruminated for a good 6-9 months. I think it's normal, your brain needs to process everything, break through the cognitive dissonance, and slowly see him as he really is.

I read alot of self help books and watched youtube videos aboUt DA which were helpful.