Recent bereavement making me question my marriage

[Nautiesdese]

DM died a few months ago. Df 10 years ago. I used to pop into her a few days in the week after work. Since her death I have changed working hours to pm, built up a new boring routine in the morning and a weekly routine where I do certain things certain days. Dc are going thru exams. The routine gets me through. I have dh who is ok most of the time but can be overbearing but if I won the lottery I would get a separate property and home help and live there.
I inherited a bit from dm incl jewellery which is a bit of a novelty.
I don't know what I want from this thread other than note down how I feel.

Title changed by MNHQ on OP's request, to make it more relevant to her post

It sounds like you're grieving while holding it all together. If this is the wake up call you need to live a life independently, then why not do it? Perhaps this could be a new lease of life for you

Resurrected this because bank holidays are so stressful. I have dc around (no trouble) but dh is so demanding, makes me the butt of his jokes in front of dc and others, has a rigid timekeeping rule like going somewhere at 2pm and not before, interrupting me mid sentence, criticising me or I did this, well i did that competitions, other things.).

I know i am no angel but it is normally a reaction to him. He has a kind side but don't they all? I am in a lucky position as I am getting an inheritance so if I leave him and get funds from sale of marital home, I would have enough to buy a small house. I also have a part time job and took a reasonable pension early.

Dh can be reasonable but gets me in knots when he calmly states when I have been unreasonable. As a result i have been critical of him esp post menopause! No one else in my life criticises me like he does.

I am thinking of waiting 2 years until dc complete education, then deciding what to do.

Can you get out of the house for a break from him? Its hard when you have teens who are self occupied with their own stuff and marriage isnt what you'd hope - I get it.

@Nautiesdese I’m sorry you are having a difficult time. Have you spoken to anyone about how you feel? It might be worth seeing if your work has an employee assistance program with access to counselling.

On a practical note, remember if you are married your inheritance would be classed as a marital asset if you receive it before divorce.

I do when I can. I suffer from a chronic condition which means it is hard for me to leave the house. I can do my part time job because I manage the condition to a degree but have had to take my pension because there is no way I can work ft. Dh works full time and is 3 years younger.
I am only nearly 60 so is this the test of my life. So self indulgent, i could cringe.

I am paying for private counselling. Bereavement of a parent hits you in the teeth, as many on here would know.

inheritance is a grey area, as long as you keep it in an account in your own name. Sounds horrible, but i am keeping it separate (for the time being) when i receive it.

See a solicitor OP. Your inheritance will be classed as a marital asset. However, if you have health issues and your capacity to earn is lower than your DH, you would probably be awarded more than the 50/50 starter. That is of course if you want to go down that route. Otherwise, put the money somewhere he can't touch it for now and don't give him any details. Work out what you really want your life to look like and start getting your ducks in a row.