Can it still be an emotional affair if not reciprocated?

[GreenHay]

This is probably a really stupid question but I’m going to ask it anyway as I’m interested in what other people think.

Can an emotional affair be one sided only? I’m in a bit of a situation where my spidey senses are tingling with communication from a married colleague. I have no romantic feelings whatsoever and will obviously be nipping this in the bud.

Would it be classed as an emotional affair from his side even though it’s not reciprocated?

If its not reciprocated, it cant be an emotional affair, imo - I'd say it may be an infatuation on his part.

I think you should trust your gut

If you’re not encouraging it and are taking steps to distance yourself/shut down any interaction that strays beyond the professional, then you can be comfortable in your own integrity.

Whether his wife would feel comfortable with the way he behaves towards you is her/their issue. Personally if I could see my boyfriend was chasing after another woman, it wouldn’t matter whether she was encouraging it or brushing him off. He’d be out either way.

@GreenHay whats being said and how is it being said

We chat a lot (over a long period of time we do do our work!) about work, kids, life, kids, hobbies, kids etc at work but I’ve noticed little things for example he’s stared to compliment me on eg how my hair is styled that day, he also messaged me a link to a song on Spotify, that one in particular felt a bit intimate but I wouldn’t think anything of it was a female friend doing the same?

Other little almost imperceptible things but those are two examples.

I’m maybe overthinking.

@GreenHay i bet you aren’t overthinking.

I would keep your wits about you and don’t let it stray into unreasonable behaviour.

You won’t be imagining things. He’s testing the waters and it always starts subtly, to see what you’re going to allow to pass.

Little by little it will become more pronounced, and by the time you’re feeling more certain that he’s signaling interest, it’s harder to shut down, because you’re close friends now, and you’ve let everything up to this point pass so it almost feels like you’re complicit.

I would start backing out now.

Not overthinking. Pull back now and you're fine. Keep going once you start to wonder and you could well in the territory of an emotional affair.

I agree with this. He’s definitely testing the waters.