Literally hate my life

[LetTheSunshine001]

Honestly I’m stuck.

been together 12 years 3 kids.

I am sat here sobbing my heart out cos he’s started on me over something so do trivial and small. I shaved my vagina. He wanted it in a straight line shape, I’ve just come off my oeriod and mine are quite heavy so it gets a bit messy so I have to shave off quite a bit and that’s it, he’s kicked off.

but it’s a lot of things lately, he doesn’t let me go to the gym, he doesn’t let me do much at all. Just expects me to be at home all day everyday , doing mum stuff and looking after house and kids.
I say about working , nope absolutely not.
We live of his wage and my child benefit that is it. Don’t spend much money on anything other then essentials for house etc or kids when they need stuff , anything else is a waste of money apparently.
I hate my life

I need to get out but how?
I have no family around me. No money.
I know it’s not possible I just want someone to talk to.

If you’re in the UK it certainly is possible. It won’t be easy, but there’s help available. Are you able to contact women’s organisations while he’s at work?

Hey OP. I can understand why you’re feeling so trapped and unhappy. Please reach out to women’s aid or your local women’s centre tomorrow. They can give you some support, advice and if you choose to leave, practical help.

No person has the right to tell you how to have any hair on your body. You wouldn’t tolerate this for your children so please don’t accept it for you. It’s not okay.

It is certainly possible, ring women's aid, 08088010800. No one has the right to treat you like this. X

Thank yoj for the replies . There isn’t any DV though at all. He’d never do that and I know that. It’s just when I do something he doesn’t like or I don’t listen he just starts being horrible like now

His actions are abusive. People don’t have to be physically assaulted for it to be domestic abuse. Please speak to women’s aid, it’s not right what he’s doing. Nobody has a right to control you in this manner or make decisions on what you do to your body.

I am sorry to hear what you’re going through. It may be difficult to accept initially but although he may not have been physically violent, What you have described is domestic abuse.

i am sure there will be more posts incoming to give you much needed support and advice.

He may not be hitting you but you are still being abused. Please contact women’s aid and leave this terrible man.

It may not be domestic violence but it is abuse

That's an abusive controlling relationship you're in

You will be better qhen out of it

Call womens aid

It takes time but you will be happy. And safe. And you will be able to do the things you would like to do for you, whether simple pleasures pr more.

Life does not have to be like this.

Hi OP. Keep talking to us on here. We're all here to listen to you.

Sadly what you have described is DV. Do you feel able to make some calls when it feels safe to do so?

Hello OP.
What's happening to you is very much classed as abuse.
You don't have to be getting hit.

Please contact Women's Aid. I'm so sorry he's being so horrible to you.

Controlling you to this extent is abuse. I’m so sorry. I hope you can find a way to leave him. Please call women’s aid

As everyone here has said - he is coercively controlling you, he wont let you live your own life and has limited your world to one house. Controlling what you spend too.

… Would you do this to him? This is not how someone who loves you should treat you.

Your children shouldn’t be witnessing how he treats you either. They will start to think that is how men are supposed to be.

Get in touch with Women’s aid please and get some help.

You can talk to us.

You are in a controlling abusive relationship, as I have been. But you can plan a future with a different life. It is possible. So hang on, there is help.

His cohesive behaviour is domestic abuse I hear it so often in my day job, he hasn't hit me ," he wouldn't do that" what he is doing is worst because it is hidden. Take care x

Am sorry, it is. You're being mentally abused and being controlled. He doesn't need to physically harm you.

You already say you hate your life. You can change this, doesn't feel like it but you can. Look for some help, listen to their ideas and options and start planning for a life that you don't hate. Takes courage and strength but honestly, it has to be better than living a life you hate. Sending hugs.

He doesn't let you go to the gym. He doesn't let you work. He dictates how you wear your pubic hair. He gets nasty over tiny things.

This is abuse. Contact Refuge or Women's Aid.

It is possible. Coercive control is illegal.

Can you contact Women’s Aid or the police when he’s out at work?

Dv is not just physical! Controlling behaviour is an act of domestic terrorism.

He sounds absolutely terrible. You need to get out of the relationship for your own good. I know that's easy to say and it will be very difficult for you to do but you've got to look after yourself. As others have said, we're here to talk if you want to. Lots of hugs. Tracy. XX

He may not hit you but he’s still being abusive. I always think in the eyes of my kids so for you, would you be happy if your son/daughter was in a relationship with someone like that? No, so you need to get out.

Legally this is abuse, look up coercive control https://womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/

Please speak to a domestic abuse helpline if you can safely and secretly, they can talk through options and help available.

Be aware he may well get more dangerous if he gets a sense you are planning to leave - so be very careful to hide it. Erase your internet history for example.

Good luck - I so hope you manage to leave him and begin a life where you make your own choices.