How to move past this

[BakeCake6]

Hi, just looking for some advice on how to move past things that was said and done during an argument with partner about 2 weeks ago, partner was very cruel with what was said - calling me a liar everytime I tried to explain something, a bad parent, useless a cheat ( never go out on my own or have friends so don't know how they got that idea!)
That I never do much for them but they are always helping me ( not true, I do the best I can, same with being a parent, I try my hardest). Never phone them if I end up in hospital they wouldn't have sympathy, a b itch.
They have also been to the few people I do know and tried turning them off me which one of the people could have affected future plans I had ( don't know yet not seem them)

Partner has apologised since and said let's move on, which I did accept, but they keep making snippy remarks as though trying to get me to bite or fill guilty.

But I just can't get out of my head all the hurtful stuff that was said and done. Now they claim to love me and I'm the world to them. How can I move past it?

What do you get out of remaining in a relationship with this person?

Some of what you describe are classic abuse tactics.

What do you get out of remaining in a relationship with this person?

Some of what you describe are classic abuse tactics.i

I wouldn't move past it if my partner spoke to me like that. I'd end the relationship. Why do you think you should put up with that sort of behaviour?

Why on earth would you even think of wanting to ‘move past it’? Get angry and get out!

I always suspect that when one partner accuses the other of cheating in these sort of situations (random unrelated argument, no evidence, no grounds for making the accusation) it's because they themselves are cheating/thinking abiut cheating/have cheated. It's some kind of weird deflection.

I wouldn't move past it.

Why do you want to stay with this Abusive man?

Your partner is not just trying to wreck your self esteem, but also sabotage your relationships with other people in your life. He's verbally abusive and isolating you from others is also an abuse tactic.

Don't rugsweep abuse. Get out of the relationship.

I agree with PP: you need to leave your abuser.

Would you remain in a friendship with a person who treated like you this? If not, is this really what you want to accept for a romantic relationship?

Tell him to fuck off

Why would you want to move past it? They sound horrible.

Don't move past it, move in the opposite direction and quickly!

How long have you been with this delightful person? Is the the first time they've behaved like this?

I couldn't move on, using over insult in an argument maybe, those are very specific insults. Sounds like you have unresolved problems and he's got resentment towards you. He's said some very unkind things and lied, how can you forgive that? Saying you'll move on and moving on are two very different things.
I would move on without him.

No no no. My next ‘move’ would be out the door (or rather he would be as there are kids). Disgusting man.

Why on earth would you want to be with someone this mean, do better for yourself x

If this is new behaviour I suspect he's got another woman.

I agreed to stay this time, I do love them and want to make this work but I just can't get it out my head.
This isn't really new behaviour, just this was the worst argument, the way stuff was said and coming out with really hurt full things. Been together about 10yrs.

Thank you for all your replys

I am sorry you are treated this way @BakeCake6 . Nobody deserves that.
Abusive behaviour is not something to move past. Unfortunately, it is only you who can change this, and you need to take yourself out of there. Yes, change is hard, especially when it comes to ending relationships, but for your sake, and the sake of your children, that is the right thing to do. Ask yourself this: If in the future your child would be treated this way, would you suggest they stay or leave? Think about it. This is what they absorb growing up, this is being normalised for them. Even if it's not in front of them when the fights happen, kids can sense when something is off, when the parents are unhappy.

Do take care of yourself, gather your self-esteem and bravery and change your lives for the better... good luck!

PS: All of you immediately jumping on "him", should double-check the original post, it is never said if it' a man. It could be reversed. Don't get me wrong, I also think OP is a woman, and the abuser is the man, but I don't take my own assumptions as facts and start throwing comments being sure. Just check the facts before you verbalise things, please.

You say you never go out on your own or have friends, is that completely your choice or is it because he has isolated you from your friends and makes you feel bad about going out without him it's not worth the fuss anymore.

I never understand why people are with such pricks. Totally not acceptable behaviour.

I have to agree with this.

If you decide to stay he will break you. Get out while you can.