I can see him falling out of love with me

[pinkelephant22]

Just as above ☹️ I feel quite awful.

we have two beautiful daughters. 7months old and 3 years old .

I hate my body. I hate it. And I know I’m not the person he met but I feel exhausted and ashamed.

I get in the shower every morning and before I get In I look at my new body in the mirror and I feel like its not mine. Its disgusting. My boobs are disgusting I have 2 c section scars and an overhang. Cellulite. It’s just horrid I feel like I punish myself by looking in the mirror. And I don’t do anything about it as I’m just so deflated.

i wouldn’t blame him for having an affair 🥺

I was slim and athletic when I got pregnant at 33. After giving birth, I gained around 10 kg - realistically, about 2 kg of that was probably just in my breasts.

I worked out and counted calories throughout pregnancy. Afterward, I pushed the pram for two hours every day, ran for an hour during naps on a treadmill I bought myself, and went swimming as soon as my ex got home. Alongside breastfeeding and calorie tracking, that’s what got me back - and honestly, I ended up looking better than before. I had a C-section, but there’s no overhang.

The reality is, you have to be fully committed to losing the weight. It takes consistent, daily effort. You can’t just look at the treadmill and find it unappealing- it has to become a priority. Almost no one just “snaps back.”

It’s essentially a job, and it’s not easy. So you either make peace with where you are, or you make peace with what it takes to get where you want to be.

Right. 7 months you had a c section. You are full of hormones, you are recovering from pregnancy, major surgery, (yes, it is major) lack of sleep and everything else. You need to think right now of a friend, sister, daughter, stranger online who is in the same situation and what would you say to them? My DH would have bought me a treadmill if I was saying along the lines of “I need to exercise” etc and think he was being completely helpful.
You need to understand that you don’t have to “snap back”, you have to enjoy your beautiful children, appreciate what your body has accomplished by safely getting your babies here. You are allowed to change and you should be very proud of yourself for what you’ve achieved! I am sure your DH adores you even more than ever. Talk to him. And get yourself time to yourself, he can knock off a gym session so you can have a sometime alone. Even if it’s to have a bath or coffee in peace. You have to show your children that love yourself because you’re their role model as hard as it is. I’m a size 22 currently and model to my DC that I’m happy and confident (even though it’s not easy) and I’ve had tons of kids, I’m allowed to lose my weight and slowly and safely and still love myself even though I’m a bit of a fatty bum 😂

This time in your life is precious. Your babies will grow up fast enough. Your husband needs to stop prioritising his needs- 3 times a week while you are bathing 2 babies and doing bedtime indeed!

Work out a schedule - 2 days each of baths and bedtimes. On your day, you may want to get on the treadmill ( I have one and lost fuck all weight, although I did feel fitter!} or go for a walk or to the gym or a class.

You are BOTH responsible for the job or looking after your children- not just you.
Find your voice before you lose yourself

So he's gyming four times a week whilst you're desperately trying to get out for a walk??

Am I missing something??

Indeed. Discuss together when you can go. As I already said the treadmill will not help, yes can burn calories but it equally make you hungry to eat more. To make a difference you need to eat in a deficit and lift weights to develop muscle tone.

Yes, walk walk walk. It’s the best exercise you can do. It’s easy to do with your baby, the fresh air is amazing for mental health and it’s low impact for your recovering body.

Forget the gym and if you use the treadmill once the kids are down, just use it for brisk walking with a podcast on.

You’ll start to feel much better.