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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you go?

41 replies

PonderingOnIt · 27/04/2026 18:35

3 weeks ago I officially split from my boyfriend of just over a year. If I am honest it was a long time coming, filled with sketchy behaviour on his end (he was caught on Facebook dating in January having been matching people over christmas & new year) and distrust. The night we broke up he came over and hurled a load of blame at me for our relationship breakdown and his actions. I was quite upset and he used this to initiate us sleeping together. He immediately left afterwards and all contact stopped.

He randomly messaged me on Saturday saying "I lowkey hate you sometimes" and then again yesterday with "I don’t get you tbh but you’d like to grab some food together next week let me know". I said I would be open to meeting up to try and salvage a friendship as we had quite a good connection outside of the relationship issues. He, however, responded that we would be meeting as estranged lovers and has now gone back to no contact again.

Now, the more I think about it, I am generally confused and don't know if meeting up is a good idea. I have no idea what his intentions are and dont want to be stucked into something again. But I do care for him and want to stay in touch to some degree.

Help WWYD?

OP posts:
Nothankyov · Yesterday 22:00

PonderingOnIt · Yesterday 21:53

Just an update, I didn't go to the lunch or responded to any contact from him. He posted some photos from our last date together (a couple days before we split) through my door at some point this afternoon and sent a message saying "how disappointed he is with my flaky behaviour and how glad he is to be dating again" and also how he had printed the photos out and decided to give me the spares".

Quite confused about all this but I am refusing to bite or respond.

OP please don’t be confused. He’s trying to emotionally manipulate you. The only response you should give is no response. You see him on the street cross the road

Laura95167 · Yesterday 22:04

You dont want to stay friends, you want to change who he is and rewrite history.

The split was a long time coming. He might fancy you but he doesnt like you so dont waste your time.

I wouldn't go.

BeenThereBackThen · Yesterday 22:29

He just wants a shag when it suits him. There is no friendship to be salvaged.

Mykneesareshot · Yesterday 22:31

You would become a booty call. Stay strong and don't reply, he will soon get bored.

Marineboy67 · Yesterday 22:32

Do not respond as any form of contact is opening communication and another chance for him to be controlling and passively abusive. Block his number and any social media you may have shared together.
There are better people out there or being on your own is better than being with him!

Crushed23 · Yesterday 22:45

He has a bruised ego. Let him fester.

ChaToilLeam · Yesterday 22:57

Block all communications, bin anything he sends you. He just wants to mess with your head (and have the occasional shag). You're well rid.

shellyleppard · Yesterday 22:59

Block him on all channels. Don't keep him as a friend, he will just see you as a quick sex session. You deserve so much better OP

CamillaMcCauley · Yesterday 23:10

This guy is a stone-cold head-wrecker. Blocking isn’t enough for this kind of creep.

Dollymylove · Yesterday 23:18

Tell him to stop trying to contact you or you will report him for harassment. Hes a twat.
Block on all channels

TheThingOnTheIce · Today 06:43

whoooah. Posting photos through your door is absolutely batshit, he sounds quite scary . You need to cut him off completely

dh280125 · Today 08:56

He's a d. Block, ignore, move on. If he keeps up with posting things at your house etc. get the police involved before it escalates.

luckylavender · Today 08:59

Don't go and block him

TheThingOnTheIce · Today 08:59

This is nothing more than a pathetic little boy who’s had his ego bruised . He’s making an absolute fool of himself. All he wants is to reel you back in so that he can then do the rejecting to make him feel better

ForTipsyFinch · Today 12:26

He doesn’t have any qualities I value in a partner or a friend. So I would decline and block him permanently so couldn’t send anymore twaddle.

really not seeing what you’re confused about tbh.

ToadRage · Today 12:42

How on earth does hurling abuse at you initiate sleeping together? Cut off contact completely, he is a dick, not worth your time. Why would you want a friendship with someone has outright said he low-key hates you? I'm not even sure what low-key means.

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