Would contacting my ex for closure be a bad idea?

[winterwoes]

I had a relationship with someone and it ended badly. He hurt me but wanted to be friends and keep in touch and said l was really important to him. I said l forgave him and also wanted to be friends. He then sent a very loving replyI but l just blocked as l knew he had met someone. I thought no good will come of this and if l walk away now then.l have the power.
Trouble is l feel l acted immature by just blocking. I have a frequent urge to make contact to explain l was too hurt to be friends. Does my silence say this? Am l just looking for an excuse to be in contact? Would it give me closure or is it a bad idea?

I think just move on. There was no need to block him but it’s done. You had the opportunity to be friends, it’s kinda gone now. You’ll look a bit of a nutter asking to be friends, blocking and then asking again. Let it, and him, go?

Don’t contact him again, it’ll just delay you recovering from him and moving on. It’s natural to want contact but it never helps. It’ll just keep you stuck for longer. As you say he’s moved on, you should too. Keep him blocked.

Keep him blocked.
Move on.
He met someone else...so can you.

Terrible idea and you might be secretly hoping for a reconciliation which means you could get hurt all over again. Just move on; don’t let the grass grow under your feet as my mother used to say.

Keep him blocked. This is a sure way of stopping yourself of becoming "something on a side" when you have a wobbly moment.

I understand the urge, most people have been there at some point but don’t do it, keep him blocked and concentrate on moving on, what’s done is done.

Leave him blocked. He wanted to be friends to keep access to you.

He won't give you closure xxx

Just move on, he didn’t want to be your friend, he was just softening it.

I think closure is something you find within yourself rather than from other people. If they hurt you once they might hurt you again.

Two people Ive know have reached out for closure after a relationship has ended. On them their ex came back and said they were a gaslighter and the other got left on read. Both were really hurt.

You blocked him for a reason - keep it that way. Also it would be messing him about and messing with your head to open up the communications channels again now. Leave it.

That or he wanted to keep @winterwoes as his unpaid therapist.

Leave the contact as nil.

He’s moved on, contacting him for closure is a bit inappropriate!

Maybe not so much closure but l can't understand why l am the one who feels guilty for not responding even though he was the one who behaved badly. I don't understand the psychology of it

Because you're female and you've been conditioned not to disappoint people.

Yes

Dont

Nah, who does this conditioning, I’m female, I am happy to disappoint if it suits me, I raised my daughter the same and all my friends are the same. So not in my world. My grandmothers were the same.

Don’t do it, he’s probably cuddled up to another woman while your sat at home having this debate with yourself.
He doesn’t want friendship, as someone else said, he was just trying to soften the blow.

It’s always a bad idea. There is no such thing as closure. Relationships end. That is all.

He has moved on . Please don’t contact him your silence says more than your words ever could. Keep your dignity .

You don't owe him any explanation. You've got closure already - the relationship is over. Don't give in to the temptation to contact him again. It's just opening a can of worms and he is likely to upset you all over again. Keep him blocked and don't give him any more of your headspace - start filling it with other things, friends, outings, travel, hobbies, exercise, fun!

He behaved badly. The relationship is over. Keep repeating that to yourself.

Don't contact him.