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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why am I feeling so affected after dating again post-separation?

5 replies

Mumto21234 · 23/04/2026 19:35

No idea how else to word title, however....
Split with ex h last summer due to his infidelity when I was heavily pregnant, and our marriage ended as a result.
Met a guy through a gym class we attended, and ended up going on a few dates together. Slept together after our last date and he has still been texting etc but things feel a bit different. I suspect he is no longer interested, and I also suspect I am not actually ready for anything else just now and that its too soon.
But I have found me emotions to be all over the place the last week. A lot of over thinking and anxiety, it almost feels like im right back at the time me and ex h split up.

Can someone please remind me how to get through this?!

I have a lot going on just now, in middle of moving into new home having just sold marital home, and this is first person I have slept with since split and did/do like him. But im surprised at just how much it has affected me.

Words of wisdom appreciated as always - I hate this feeling so much!

OP posts:
Hito · 23/04/2026 20:46

You're not ready. Simples! It takes a while to adjust after a break up.

NoisyMonster678 · 23/04/2026 21:02

You have not fully healed from your ex's betrayal.

Time, it takes time.

Specialagentblond · 24/04/2026 21:14

Be kind to yourself. You’ve had a baby, moving house. Lots of change and upheaval.

take the positives - you’ve found someone you actually like. It can take ages for others to even get to that stage.

ItsPickleRick · 24/04/2026 21:17

The first “relationship” after a divorce hits hard.

After everything you went through in your marriage, it’s nice to have a reminder that you are still desirable and wanted, that you can feel those butterflies again, you feel hope and it is difficult when it ends. You’re probably not grieving the end of this relationship as such, but it will be bringing up things you haven’t quite dealt with from your marriage break up.

Take some time, you’ll be ok again x

Mumto21234 · 24/04/2026 21:24

Thanks everyone. What a bloody year its been, nothing short of a roller coaster.
I just want to be at the stage where it's fun, and im ok regardless of what the other person thinks/feels about me.

Think I definitely still have some work to do on myself for now.

OP posts:
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