DH Money Problems

[frankiebabe]

Hi, this is my first post here, my friend recommended I join and it seems a really friendly place, I was wondering if anyone in a similar situation to me or could offer any advice, my husband recently inherited some money, a fair amount I have to say and instead of discussing it with me he put a good half or more in investments that have now failed so we
are left with a lot less than we started, I am really upset, partly because I think what we could do with that money we have 3 young children and money isn't exactly plentiful, but it is more the fact he kept it from me for months, I am just not sure I can trust him anymore and not sure how to move forward from here, any advice would be gratefully received!

Thanks

[Alexa808]

Welcome to MN! Sorry to hear this frankiebabe. It's tricky because it was his inheritance if you see what I mean.

Personally I think he should have put part of it to better use in gifting it to your dc or sticking it into a fund for them.

Has he always been good with money and is this a one-off? It seems weird that he wouldn't mention it to you in the first place.

Sorry, no real help from me, just understanding your situation.

[Lizzylou]

Oh dear.
Perhaps he didn't want to worry you, was embarrassed at the loss?
My Dh is the opposite to me, very careful with money etc and I am frequently embarrassed by how much I have overspent, I don't tell him as I feel a failure.
Make sure that the rest of the money is used wisely

Welcome to MN

[WingsofaAngel]

He has invested it. Have these investment now matured or do they still have time to run ?

I think he should have discussed what he was doing. Have you asked him why he didn't tell you ? Have you told him how you feel ?

[frankiebabe]

Hi again, thanks for your replies,he says he didn't tell me as he tried to sort it out so to speak but these investments were high risk win or lose type things and I think he got in a hole and didn't know how to deal with it. He has never been good with money, I am the careful one of the family, there always seems to be one of each!He assures me the rest is invested wisely and much more safely and has got all paperwork to show me but I feel I have to constantly watch him now!

I feel like I am only one going through this which I know is ridiculous but it has really got me down, I suffer from depression and am so worried this will cause a re-occureance of that. Sorry to ramble on but it really helps to get it off my chest and ask advice so I can try and accept it and move on,

Thanks

[WingsofaAngel]

Has he got any money from them ?

One way to look at it is that you never had the money before so you won't miss it.
I know all the things you could have done with the money but that won't help you move on will it.
He tried to invest and if it had paid off then you would have been rewarded financially. I'm sure he has learnt a lesson from this.

[frankiebabe]

Hi, yes think he has learnt a lesson and as you say we never had money before so won't miss it as such, thanks for your support once again am trying to put it to back of my mind!

[WingsofaAngel]

I think you need to get your feeling out in the open and for you both to understand why each of you feel the way you do.

Don't push things to the back of your mind as this will resolve nothing and it will eat away at you.

I don't mean to be hard on you by say you don't miss what you never had.